Giving advice to people is like flipping a coin – there can always be two possible reactions. Either the person will listen and thank you for your help, or they will act offended and tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. The latter is more likely to happen when no one actually asked for the advice.
But, since this is the Internet, the Redditor u/Mathias97035 thought some unsolicited advice wouldn't hurt anyone. That's why they asked other netizens: "What unsolicited advice do you want to give right now?" Check out what tips people shared in the thread below!
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How many times have you had to fight the urge to give some unwanted advice, Pandas? Try not to feel that guilty – having opinions is natural, after all. But we do have to be careful when we start offering our opinions and advice to people who didn't exactly ask for it.
According to VeryWell Mind, people do it with good intentions: out of altruism, friendliness, or just pure excitement. However, it can also satisfy the less-dignified side of us that's needy and helpless. Yes, people sometimes offer unsolicited advice for their sake, not yours – it makes them feel more valued, powerful, and important.
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Other times, friends can start offering advice when the person seems helpless. In these cases, according to Elizabeth Scott, Ph. D., the person should clearly communicate that they're not looking for advice.
There are times when people just want to vent about their problems, to pour their hearts out. That doesn't necessarily mean they're looking for guidance. But in some cases, all the complaining might get too much for their friends. Then, they might start offering advice just to send a message: "Do something or stop complaining."
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Then there are the unhelpful motives behind giving unsolicited advice. Experts warn to look at these signs seriously, as it might mean that the one offering the advice can be emotionally abusive.
Those with narcissistic tendencies like to "teach" people how to live, as it gives them power and attention. Their advice might not even be helpful because, most times, it's about them and not the other person.
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Others like to give out advice because they want to assert dominance, to be the knowledgeable one in the relationship. If they're the ones always giving advice and putting themselves into a position of authority, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.
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Friends and family aren't the only ones we get unsolicited advice from. Strangers sometimes like to do it, too. Often, it's because they're coming from a place of judgment. While this can also happen amongst friends, it often comes across more like an insult than advice. If a friend offers this kind of advice, mental health experts suggest spending less time with them.
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For drama lovers, it's all about the conflict. They love it, and they thrive on instigating it. These people, according to Scott, feel power by telling others how wrong they are.
They even bring up topics for discussion by giving lots of advice – their goal is neither to help nor to demonstrate their sophistication. They mostly take the opposite side to whatever argument the other person presents.
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No one wants to hear your music or your show. Put headphones on when in shared public spaces.Be kind, the world needs more kind people.Spay and neuter your effing animals please.If someone asks you a question about something you think is obvious, you aren't obligated to s**t on them in the process of giving an answer.A condom is vastly cheaper than a child.If someone is treating you badly, stop trying to convince them to treat you better. we’re all adults here, they know what they’re doing. have some self respect and walk away instead.Pick up your trash.You don’t have to have an opinion on everything.If every facet of your entire personality revolves around a single politician, you need to reevaluate your life choices.Parents are raising adults. If your adult child doesn't know how to do something, it's because the parent failed to teach them. Nothing outside of organ function is automatically known.
Also, stop expecting children to have better emotional regulation than adults.Telling the truth is not an excuse to be unkind. "Brutal honesty" is a person making excuses for being a jerk. If you can't tell the truth kindly, you need to go back to basics.If you don't know, say so.You don’t have to be good at something, you don’t have to get better at it, you don’t have to engage with it for some particular reason, just enjoy the activity; that’s fine.Move more, before its too late.
Being lazy causes damage. Just move.Please, please wear ear protection at concerts/loud events. You may be fine now, but it sneaks up on you years later.
Signed,
A Gen X-er with permanent tinnitus/partial hearing loss.When building a taco, put the cheese in first, then the hot filling. The hot filling will melt the cheese, which will form a mechanical bond with a taco shell, and help the shell hold together so it's less likely to break and dump Taco guts all over your shirt.My favorite advice is “the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self” learned it myself a while ago. Everyone has a different perspective and journey. I’m 31 and it looks a lot different than my mom’s 31 or my sister’s or my high school valedictorian’s. And that’s ok. My goal in life is to be happy that’s all.You don’t need to respond to everything.Shut up. That's my actual unsolicited advice. People need to listen more.Take care of your teeth.Look at the dessert menu first, then plan your meal accordingly.Invite the people that are always inviting you, they shouldnt always be the one initiating things.Go offline for a while.Go seek a place with very little/no light pollution & stargaze. Not enough people have seen a truly dark sky - and it’s going to keep getting harder to find them as cities get bigger & population increases.Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Never make a decision with the presupposition that you will succeed and you will rarely find yourself caught off guard. That's not to say you should think you can't succeed, just that you should set yourself up so that failure doesn't wipe you out. It's like wearing your seat belt while driving: it's there to save you if things don't work out.Don't stay with someone who is bad for you because you don't want to be alone. You're wrecking yourself for future partnerships and you're wasting precious time you'll never get back. If you're in a relationship that isn't healthy: leave.Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.Listen to your gut instinct. You may not understand why you don’t trust someone or like someone, but eventually you’ll see the reason. The times I’ve been hurt or burned the most was when I didn’t trust myself & wanted to just give others a shot because I feel like I’m too judgemental, but my gut hasn’t ever been wrong.Take a moment everyday to step out of your house and appreciate the world. No matter what happens today, tomorrow or in a hundred years: that sun will rise. There might be flowers you can smell. Maybe the birds are chirping.
It's very grounding during chaotic times.No one deserves to have power over you so much that you don't get to live your life.Take care of your kids.Stop having children if you know you can’t afford them.Let it go, it’s not worth it.Enjoy life as much as possible. Make it your mission to enjoy the heck out of everything you can. .Wash yer a*s.You don't have to have everyone like you.The more you post about how wonderful and perfect your relationship is the more I think it's actually on the rocks and close to ending.If you’re pregnant, don’t get a puppy.Vote. A presidential candidate will never be perfectly in line with your beliefs. The best you can do is try to move the needle in your direction. Look at the policy and positions. Find which candidate will move you closer toward what you want. Because not voting is effectively working against your own personal interests.Don't date to marry, date to get to know people. You will learn more about yourself and others and can gauge where you need to keep people in your life.Go to a hobby subreddit, something you feel you know *really* well.
Look at the comments with terrible advice, things that are objectively wrong, by people who talk with authority.
Extrapolate that across all social media.Preventative maintenance is the best maintenance.For my younger coworkers…
Just because your career has been easier, doesn’t mean you’re better at your job.Workout and stretch while you’re young it’ll start a good habit and your body will thank you for it.Let people misunderstand you.
Trying to control the narrative will drive you insane. If you’re a genuine good person, it wont matter anyways, any lies can and will come forward.
Life is too short to not be yourself because someone assumes some nonsense about you. Just let go, if they dont want to look at you deeper than a surface level, then they probably don’t care enough to matter anyways.The key to being charismatic is making the other person feel good about themselves.Use multiple forms of birth control if you really don’t want kids. The pull out method is not reliable, don’t be stupid.Quit smoking. Just because your doctor says your lungs and heart are strong it doesn’t prevent calcification of veins and arteries which can cause amputations. It’s one of the top 5 causes of pancreatic cancer.When people tell you to get counselling before having a child. Do it.No matter how young you are, start planning your retirement!Being in a band is like being in a marriage with three other people. There are some great exciting moments but then there is drama and the expectation to perform when you really don't feel like it.Life improves dramatically when you stop drinking. Dramatically. And in ways you would never have thought it would.
Nobody needs alcohol, and there is no safe amount of alcohol one can drink.
Sobriety from alcohol gives you mental clarity like you wouldn't believe, at least it has for me.Dont ignore the red flags, for the love of god.For those struggling with mental illness and don’t feel heard by their loved ones, keep in mind not everybody knows how to respond or provide empathetic support in moments of crisis - you are still loved and cared for, not everybody understands but there are people out there who do
Edit: seeing as this is sitting well with people - something I learned in crisis intervention training is E.L.O.R.A (lead with Empathy, listen, offer validation/support, respond accordingly, ask how they feel)
TL;DR- not everybody knows how to react or respond in moments of crisis, you are still loved and supported despite the level of support you receive in the moment.Don't keep 9v batteries open in a junk drawer or without the terminal covers on them. If a piece of metal touches both terminals it will short and can start a fire. That's what burned my old neighbors house a wile back.When it comes to family/friends, your time is worth more than gift giving.
I don't want a text message. I want to hear your voice.
Stop loving me from afar. Be present.If you are in an abusive relationship, make a plan to get out and to a safe place, and get a restraining order on that person immediately.If you wake up really hungover, you are most likely still legally drunk. +.08 bac.Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.Don’t wait for something to be handed to you. You gotta reach out and grab it.Don’t go to college for business unless you’re planning on getting your masters or you are attractive. If you’re not one of those things, you will be stuck in a cubicle.Almost any moment can be a peaceful moment if you don't carry anger/anxiety/etc around with you. There is no other time than right now.Having a relationship means sharing your life with someone else. If you are lonely, miserable, and feel like your day to day life is a s**t sandwich, you will probably remain alone until you can offer the other person something that tastes better then a bite of a s**t sandwich.
END COMMUNICATION.Taxes are due very soon.Reduce the weight and squat below parallel. Your muscles will develop faster/better.Save at least $50 from every paycheck. More if you can.Understanding and knowing are 2 completely separate things, knowing something is actually super useless in practical application bc it amounts to nothing more than having words in a certain order inside your own brain. Understanding is actually comprehending the concepts those words apply to so you can work with them.Don’t push hard with your tongue, just place it and build a rhythm. When you hear don’t stop, it means keep doing what you’re doing, no harder, no faster, if anything pull away a little and enjoy the reaction.Searing the meat won't lock in the juices.Do yoga for a month.
You’ll feel like a new person.
