Article created by: Ilona Baliūnaitė
If you were lucky, you had a lovely childhood where things just made sense. Life seemed fair. Everyone was treated equally. Good behavior was encouraged and rewarded, and as long as you worked hard, respected others and tried your best, everything would just magically work out!
As adults, we’re well aware that that’s a very naïve way of looking at the world, but to avoid raising cynical, pessimistic children, we often allow little ones to view life through rose-colored glasses. “Eventually, they’ll figure out the truth for themselves,” we think. But unfortunately, even if someone is an adult when they receive a reality check, the harsh truths of life can be extremely challenging to accept.
Reddit users have been opening up about the brutal realities of life that hit them the hardest, so we’ve gathered some of their most eye-opening and heart-breaking responses below. If you’re struggling with any of these ideas too, know that you’re not alone, pandas. Remember to upvote the pills that have been particularly hard for you to swallow as well, and keep reading to also find an interview with Louisa Davis, editor for The Mind's Journal. Then if you’re interested in diving even deeper into this topic, you can find another Bored Panda article featuring a similar discussion right here!
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Cutting ties with toxic family member is necessary, it doesn’t matter if their blood you have to do what’s best for you
You can't be anything you want. You can be whatever your skill level, intellect and money will allow. So that means I am too poor to be president, too clumsy to be a trapeze artist and too number dumb to be an astronaut.
You can be do your best to be as nice and considerate of the feelings of everyone you meet, and still end up hurting people.
Not even from doing anything *wrong*.
Just from people being complicated.
For me, personally, it was accepting that I would always be abnormal, due to having dwarfism. It will be a social barrier in life for many people I meet, it will no doubt impact how people perceive me, my personality and my abilities, and it is something that many people will find hard to get past, mentally. There will be things I am physically incapable of doing, and people will patronise me. I will always get unwanted attention on a daily basis, and will struggle romantically, due to people equating me with a child.
The reality of all these things hit me when I was about 12 years old, which was a lot to process. I got very angry and bitter about my lot in life, and it kind of dominated my teenage years.
But I *have* accepted it, and I'm pretty cool with my life now. I wouldn't change it for the world. It made me who I am, and I love who I am. It was hard to come to terms with when I was young, definitely, but I feel so secure now, as a result. People tell me they envy that about me.
You can't make someone love you.
My parents are getting older. No, that's not it. They're dying. Sure, we're all getting closer to the day we die. But the decline in them is scary.
It's hard enough as it is, but accepting that you're next is something that I haven't been able to do yet.
It’s very difficult to come to terms with the fact you’re not as smart or cool as you thought you were. That you’re really nothing special. But once you accept that, it gets a little easier. I don’t know about you, but to me there’s something kinda liberating about not being anything special. You’re free to be your own person and do your own thing.
There is a big portion of the world who hates me for who I am, but hating myself too doesn't help anything.
Some people don’t want actual solutions, they just want to complain.
Edit: I’m all for a good round of aggravation-venting catharsis for some one-off frustration. I’m thinking more of repeat offenders with a very solvable problem they just aren’t willing fix (ex: 3 months of on-and-off complaining about a specific problem... offer to brain-trust some viable solutions... they reply something along the lines of ”it’s unsolvable” ...future date, same topic, more complaining... offer simple, viable, and specific potential solutions you’ve thought of ... they follow with essentially “no, that would never work” but offers no potential solution in its place.... repeat ad nauseam. 🙄 I’m solution oriented. If you present a problem to me (and not specify that it’s just a vent session) then I’m gonna try to help you solve it so that I don’t have to see you suffer frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment.
I'm not going to win the lottery and I'm not going to magically become filthy rich.
The "what are you going to do about it?" Will always be more important than who's right or wrong.
Adults are not all knowing. Stupid kids sometimes become stupid adults. The worst kid in class in bed school might still become a doctor.
Your parents, your heros, your teachers- all just people. Usually doing the best that they can, even if it isn't always enough.
Love is not enough. A relationship dying because of things external to love, is such a horrible thing to embrace, given that we are taught love conquers all.
It can barely conquer a 2hr drive.
I cannot depend on long-term remission, because it simply does not reliably exist for treatment-resistant depression, I've never had remission, and I'm a lot more treatment-resistant than the average.
That means if I want to get anything done, I have to learn to function how I am and not wait for a day when I'm better. There isn't a better. It doesn't matter who I am when I'm not depressed, because "not depressed" is not an option and it very well might never be an option.
I know that must sound really depression, but it was actually a really important realization. I can't control whether or not I'm miserable, or do anything I'm not already doing; but if I'm going to be sick then I may as well do something instead of lie in bed all day.
People will care about you as long as you’re useful or convenient for them. After that, you’re on your own.
Life isn’t fair
We watch films, read books, listen to music where the good guys generally win or things sort themselves out for the better but in reality this rarely happens.
On the plus side, once you accept this as a truth it makes it easier to accept than always trying to force the right outcome
That there’s no break. You may go on a vacation, but you’re always working to keep your life from automatically failing making sure you always have all necessities.
You can’t just have a summer in which you worry about nothing. You’d be lucky to have a winter “break”, but even then you still have to work at life, especially if you have people to care for.
You can’t just go away and retire to your room for a week if you’re feeling overwhelmed as it will just get worse and worse.
However, this responsibility is cut in half (hopefully) if you have a great partner to do it with (which I am very lucky to have).
I only seem to matter to others when I have money
