Donald Trump is coming here because he craves respectability.
And social climbing gets no higher than an invitation from the Queen to make a state visit.
It’s not going to be a serene royal progress. Protests will pursue him wherever he goes, but I won’t be among demonstrators giving him the full moon, as a .38 bullet in the buttocks often offends.
Trump is likely to embarrass Her Majesty (again), upset MPs and infuriate climate change campaigners. That’s par for the world’s greatest golfer, self-annointed.
He’s already upset D-Day veterans, promising to grandstand at their anniversary celebrations in Portsmouth, where civic leaders say he isn’t invited.
Donald Trump visit security wall will block public from watching D-Day event
And watch out for the cocky Twittering after he meets Her Majesty. He won’t be able to resist the temptation to boast about private regal chit-chat.
But the real threat comes from dangerous Donald’s desire to export Trumpism – in foreign policy, repudiation of international agreements, exclusion of Chinese investment and walking away from Europe to expose the UK to US cut-price, cut-standard trade.
At home, he trumpets populism over rational political strategy, praises his Brexit pal Nigel Farage, and promotes Boris Johnson as “the British Trump.” He thinks the UK is ripe for his kind of revolution.
Vince Cable turns down Donald Trump State Dinner invitation
In Washington, the value of his June trip over the pond will be measured in terms of “have the Brits learned to love The Donald?” Here, it should be “have we resisted the lethal lure of Trumpism, a message as fake as his orange tan?”
Judging by the polls, he won’t get far. But don’t under-estimate his Cheshire-cat charm. The lothario of Mar-a-Lago has a knack for finding voters’ G-spots.
Finally, the burning question: will he wear that Stalin-style overcoat down to his ankles, or a suit that allows his trademark red tie to trail on the ground?
