Paul Lambert | The Gallery

'Only Paul Lambert's arms got stronger in his fight against relegation. His managerial skills, however, did not,' chuckles TOm Cox Photograph: Photomontage

I personally hope they stay up, blubs Ceiri Wyn Coker, who forsees our protagonist in an emotion-laden Hollywood sequel Photograph: Photomontage

'Lambert has a month to buy the players who secure Villa's place in the Premier League next season, and their slice of the TV deal bonanza,' chortles 1980s film fanatic John O'Donnell Photograph: Photomontage

Meanwhile Al Balmer thinks Villa's young toddlers, with a little help from a few choice sponsors, will come good in the end Photograph: Photomontage

'Come spring, surely Lamb Bert's getting the chop,' honks Vina Paddy Photograph: Photomontage