This gig should come with a Surgeon General's warning scribbled on the label in orange and blue: Coaching the Denver Broncos is hazardous to your health.
Lately it has been as safe as modeling neckwear for Aqib Talib. The last two coaches _ John Fox, 58 then; Gary Kubiak, 55 now _ both spent time in the hospital. The next guy should know two things before he assumes the parking space once reserved for Kubiak's big ol' Texas truck: The expectations at Broncos headquarters can carry you to the top of the Super Bowl podium or lay you flat on your back. Or both.
"This is a great place to work, but the expectations are high. Those expectations have been set by Mr. Bowlen a long time ago," general manager John Elway said. "Everybody that comes here as a coach or as a player understands that the standard is to be able to compete for world championships. Does that add a little bit more? Sure it does. But if you're good at what you do, you want that challenge."
Yes, I love how Elway brought his business mandate to the football front office: Get the job done, or go get somebody who will. If more businesses valued performance over profile, we'd have fewer failing businesses. There's no gray area at the bottom line.
Kubiak on Monday wiped tears from his eyes as he voluntarily stepped away from what he called "the best job in America." Ol' Kubes said, "I'm retiring from coaching."
There are only a few sports franchises with expectations as unflinching and lofty as the Broncos'. But there's no other coaching job quite like this one, because there is no other GM quite like this one. Whose resume as an executive equals or surpasses that of his first-ballot Hall of Fame playing career? Jerry West? And that's about it.
"If I were a head coach coming in here, I would take advantage of that. That's all I can tell you," Broncos CEO Joe Ellis said. "I would tell that to the next head coach, whoever that is."
Kubiak did, too, and it was telling that Elway made several cameos in Fox's locker room but was a relative ghost around Kubiak's. One he trusted to inspire the locker room; one he did not, so he stepped in. It's also fair to say the next coach should be aware the last two guys A) "mutually parted ways" with the team after four straight division titles and a Super Bowl appearance; and B) resigned due to health issues, while knowing his staff would be disbanded after the Broncos missed the playoffs for the first time in six years _ by one game.
"Coaching is a very demanding business," Kubiak said.
Nowhere is more demanding than inside the walls at Dove Valley.
Hey, expectations are a great thing. 'Round these hills, if you don't win the Super Bowl, you failed. And so less than one year after the Broncos' defense bullied its way to Denver's third world title _ the first two won by, ahem, Elway _ no critiques were off the table.
"I wish we played like we did (Sunday against the Raiders) all year against the run," Elway said. "That would've been nice."
The Broncos won't win Super Bowl LI, so even the contract for defensive maestro Wade Phillips was allowed to expire. The next head coach will hire his staff, Elway said.
"Coaches life _ unemployed to SB victory to unemployed in 3 years or less," Phillips tweeted from @sonofbum, adding later he hopes to return to the Broncos.
One quick glance at amateur-hour news conferences in San Francisco and Buffalo on Monday underscored that Broncos Country has it good. Another glance at Kubiak scooping up a grandchild as he waved a tearful goodbye showed the Broncos Country pressure cooker is hot enough to cook anyone's health. Even that of a favorite son.
Here are the two names that should top the list of coaching candidates in Denver: Vance Joseph and Kyle Shanahan. The Broncos were so impressed in a previous interview with Joseph, the former CU quarterback and current Dolphins defensive coordinator, I believe he would have scored the job in 2015 if Kubiak had said, "Nah, I'm cool." The Broncos have requested an interview with Shanahan, the Falcons coordinator. Either would be a win.
Elway is more likely to give you a putt that's outside the leather than show his hand during a heated competition like a coaching search. But he allowed one subtle peep into their approach: "Obviously there's a lot of young guys out there that look like they have a lot of potential. Bright, young guys. Hopefully we can get one of those."
The Broncos are going to be an NFL power for as long as Elway is in charge. They also will have the most demanding job in the NFL for as long as Elway is in charge. The personnel move that should be keeping Broncos fans awake at night isn't the next coach. It's Elway's next contract, since his expires roughly one year from now.
I asked Ellis, who said contract negotiations with Elway began in October and are ongoing, if he envisions Elway leading the Broncos for the long haul.
"My strong hope is the answer to that is yes," Ellis said. "But it's a tough job. It's demanding. I think each person individually has to gauge how much he can put into it each day. ... I think each and every year you have to sit back and reflect, just like Gary did. None of us are getting any younger."
What to get the GM who has won everything?
More championships. Nothing else will do.
