Patrick Vieira

'Roberto Mancini keeps faith with his mature player policy, whilst Sheikh Mansour ushers in the new era of City galácticos,' sniggers Jason Froggett
Photograph: Public Domain

'Twiglet Vieira insists that his legs WILL hold out in his return to the Premier League.' Is it wrong for us to want to munch Mike Petchey's entry?
Photograph: Public Domain

Thomas Thompson thinks Vieira will be the oldest element of City's midfield
Photograph: Public Domain

'Not Apache on their former selves,' puns Michael Anderson
Photograph: Public Domain

'Eastlanders, everybody's talking about it!' Phil Brown wins extra points for his seamless Pat-Pat fusion and for making Stephen Ireland fat
Photograph: Public Domain

'Where do the French team go on holiday? Answers on a postcard please.' We get the pun, Patrick Spragg, but where's Vieira?
Photograph: Public Domain

'Sheikh Mansour and Roberto Mancini spot a bargain in the transfer window,' titters Al Balmer. Just a shame the shop is closed ...
Photograph: Public Domain

'After years of praying for a miracle, St Patrick appears to the faithful at Eastlands.' Bless you, Al Balmer (again)
Photograph: Public Domain

'Vieira is looking forward to the Carling Cup semi-final but can't help remembering what happened in a previous semi when he gave the ball to Ryan Giggs,' chortles Sid Holton
Photograph: Public Domain

'Uh oh it's back!' Brian Corcoran's entry is frighteningly good
Photograph: Public Domain

'Top Gear exclusive, Vieira seen leaving Eastlands in new Ferrari OAP oldster.' Good knowledge, good skills from Fi Weatherall
Photograph: Public Domain

'The trouble with signing la grande saucisse at the end of its career is that all the good bits have already been bought and you're just left with the straggly ends.' Tom Nycz-Losi comes over all revolutionary
Photograph: Public Domain