Age: Minus two.
Appearance: Like a cheese grater of course. Look at the bleedin' photograph.
Yes, but what is it? A marvellous new Richard Rogers-designed skyscraper being built in the City of London.
How do you know it's marvellous? Because developer British Land says so. "At 224 metres high, the Leadenhall Building will be a new icon for London."
The Leadenhall Building? That's what they prefer to call the Cheese Grater, just as we're supposed to call the Gherkin 30 St Mary Axe.
Why is it shaped like a cheese grater? One side had to be sloping to avoid blocking views of St Paul's cathedral.
How quaint. It must be tricky to build. "Having no central core," says Architectural Record magazine, "the building will be stabilised by external megaframes of inclined steel columns with H-sections up to 80cm sq."
Meaning? God knows, but I assume it won't fall over in high winds.
Why do you give its age as minus two? Because it's due to be completed in 2014. The building has been planned for a decade, but like everything else was held up by the crash of 2008. Now it's back on track. British Land recently announced that insurance company Aon would be taking a third of the space, occupying levels 4-13 of the 47-floor building.
What happens above level 13? That's another storey.
Cheese Grater, Gherkin, what weird names these buildings have. Yes, with the Cucumber, Aubergine and Kumquat all under development, this could be quite a meal.
Not to be confused with: The Shard and the Walkie-Talkie, two non-food-related skyscrapers also being constructed in London.
Almost certainly to be confused with: The much-derided 2012 Olympic torch, which has also been likened to a cheese grater.
Do say: "What a clever design. I can't wait to see it when it's completed."
Don't say: "Did you know that analysts have shown a close link between the building of skyscrapers and economic meltdown?"
