Age: 43.
Appearance: At home, blonde and self-righteous. Outdoors, hijabbed to the max.
Which means? She's gone Muslim.
Alhamdulillah! Chalk up another one to the Ummah! In your face, other religions! All right, calm down.
Sorry. I'm not a Muslim, but it's nice to hear a good news story about Islam. Indeed. And this is media personality, campaigner and journalist Lauren Booth, remember – not some random.
Quite. I never miss an episode of Remember Palestine, the TV series that she presents for the Iranian government's English-language channel, Press TV.
Me neither. It's essential viewing. Not bad for Cherie Blair's little half-sister, eh?
Of course! I forgot about that. So does this make Tony Blair half-Muslim by marriage? No. It doesn't work that way.
And Booth definitely means it, does she? You bet. She says she had a "holy experience" after visiting a shrine in the Iranian city of Qom. "It was a Tuesday evening and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy," she recalled.
Sounds lovely. Are you're sure she hasn't got a book coming out or something? Not that I know of. And she's hardly the kind of person who would go to extreme lengths to get attention, is she?
Apart from when she appeared on I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! you mean? Apart from that, yes. And now she reads the Qur'an and prays five times a day. She has even given up drinking alcohol and eating pork.
No pork? But that's the best thing about being neither Muslim nor Jewish! I told you this was serious.
Is she allowed crackling? I don't think so, no.
Has she at least changed her name to something Arabic? No, she's hasn't bothered with that. But she did hint that she might wear a burqa one day.
What, in public? That's the general idea.
How would we know it was her? I'm sure Lauren would find a way to get the information out.
Do say: "At least she dresses modestly."
Don't say: "Just remind me: what are the 99 names of God again?"
