Age: Older than tarmac, younger than mud.
Appearance: Picturesque and dangerous.
Are we talking about the same thing? Those bumpy things that cars drive over on Coronation Street? Let's not forget the real places such as Edinburgh and Liverpool.
And the Hovis village where that kid delivered loaves by bicycle? "'Twas like taking bread to the top of the world" and so on. Which bit of the north was that? You could practically smell the tripe. It was Shaftesbury in the extremely southern county of Dorset. While we're putting the record straight, the word "cobbles" really only applies to paving made of pebbles. The rectangular granite blocks are "setts". These became popular in the 19th century, creating a smoother surface for hansom cabs and dog carts. Both types are typically set in sand, mortar or. . .
Yes, but where does the danger come in? Pedestrians have been tripping and slipping on cobbles all across the country, then claiming compensation from councils. Worcestershire had to pay one victim £25,000.
Are they going to take that lying down? That's probably quite funny if it's not you in hospital. No, dozens of authorities have protected themselves by ripping up or tarmacking over the offending stones. The anti-cobble movement has now reached the medieval village of Dunster in Somerset, where tourists have suffered broken arms, cut foreheads and sprained ankles. The Dunster Working Group says most locals want a nice even pavement installed. "We've got to bring the village into the 21st century," its chairman insists.
It's health and safety gone mad! It is if you listen to the charity Civic Choice. It claims traditional life-threatening paving is a "fast-disappearing resource".
Is there a bulldozer I can lie in front of? Don't panic just yet. Before Dunster can do anything, it will have to find £70,000. And as you may have heard, there's a spot of belt-tightening going on.
Do say: "It's a slippery slope."
Don't say: "So that's where the word 'cobblers' comes from."
