Age: At least 850 years old. Although obviously it's had some work done since then.
Appearance: Village of London.
As in the touching romantic comedy in which Julia Roberts falls in love with Hugh Grant even though she's Julia Roberts and he's just Hugh Grant? That was 11 years ago, so no. Notting Hill's got a brand new claim to fame. In fact, it could be the next Paris Hilton.
How so? It's starring in its own reality TV show. Seven Days, which started last night on Channel 4, is "a week in the life of Notting Hill". Or, more accurately, an eight-week series about 19 of its most colourful and extroverted denizens, including a dog, a dreadlocked property developer and a Yemeni woman applying to found a faith school. It might even be interesting.
Never heard of it. You must have seen the adverts. A weird composite face staring at a camera and dramatically contradicting itself?
Ah, yes, I saw those. I just didn't realise it was the face of Notting Hill. Well, it was.
I assumed it was a drama about a multi-personality police photo-fit brought to life by an evil Soviet scientist. You were wrong.
But I was so excited! Relax. Seven Days has its own even dafter unique selling point: ChatNav.
As in an idiot babbling into your ear while you're trying to drive? More or less. The idea being that enthusiastic viewers can talk directly to the participants online, giving them advice that will affect what they do each week. Alongside that, the ChatNav website will "collate social media conversations" about the show's stars, allowing the producers to focus on the characters that the public care most about. And, in a delightfully invasive twist, the public will be able to send in reporters "to go deeper into stories".
So it's The Truman Show, only more middle-class? Exactly.
Do say: "Real people, on television, in a place? It's genius."
Don't say: "I'd rather watch the talking photo-fit."
