Weight: 25lbs apiece. And normally they only reach 6lbs - even 10lbs is considered extraordinary.
Crikey! Tell me more. Two of them, there were, with these huge staring eyes that put the fear of God into all who saw them.
And they were really big, I suppose. Seriously - they were as long as a man's arm, I swear. You've never seen the like of it.
I have to say, this is all starting to sound a bit fishy. Leave the jokes to me, my friend. These monsters were discovered in a seawater pool at Dounreay in Caithness by contractors busy decommissioning the old nuclear power plant there. In a blinding flash of the wit for which nuclear power plant decommissioners are renowned, they nicknamed them Codzilla.
So they're the horrific, deformed result of a massive radiation overdose? Like on the Simpsons? Nice try. But no, actually.
How can we be so sure? Because a nice spokeswoman from Dounreay, Lynn Staples-Scott, assures us that this is the case. "They have been able to grow to quite a size while safely away from the dangerous nets of trawlers," she explained, while her other head glowed phosphorescently.
Exactly how did they get so big then? It seems that as small fry they swam through a 3in grill to a protected area. Then they grew bloated as they lounged around in their private pool for the rest of their lives. Like Marlon Brando.
Did the contractors find anything else? A veritable seafood platter: pollock, gurnard, ling, conger eels, lobsters, crabs, prawns and plaice all showed up as the old seawater was flushed out.
Mmm, tasty. Dounreay may be confident that the fish aren't radioactive, but the law requires that fish found in the vicinity are kept off the plate.
Do say: "It's reassuring to know that Britain's disused nuclear plants have provided a safe habitat for so many defenceless little creatures."
Don't say: "If we set up a fish finger factory on the site of every old nuclear reactor in the country, we'll never have to worry about money again."
