So he'd have us believe, mate. I bet he's daydreaming about girls again - the old rascal. Be quiet! He'll overhear, you impudent fool.
You're right. I'll tone it down. My fighting days are over and I don't want him lashing out at me. What are you trying to say? Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, is an exemplar of peace, harmony and compassion.
That's not what I heard. Are you going to tell me what this is about?
Well, the Dalai Lama has confessed to having a bit of a nasty temper on him. He also owns an air rifle and shoots at hawks with it. I fear that you're misquoting him - he only shoots to scare them off.
That's what Tony Martin said. What's this about his daydreaming, then?
Well, it also seems that His Holiness is growing wistful at never having got any. Any what? Nations to disarm, end to human misery... ?
No, you dolt! Any, you know... If I did, I wouldn't be asking.
Sex. Any sex. Asked in an interview what ordinary experiences he felt he had missed out on, he gestured to his groin and said "this". How very vulgar. And what next? The Pope ruing having missed out on the early years of punk? The Chief Rabbi wishing that he'd dabbled with drugs?
Steady on now, mate. He is but flesh and blood. Anyway, though he admitted that "sexual desire and attachment are enjoyable", he does still see them as negative emotions that "act as a basis to anger, hatred and jealousy". He has obviously been talking to your wife.
Do say: "Congratulations on having curbed the larger part of your baser character - you are a truly spiritual man."
Don't say: "Fancy a shag?"
Not to be confused with: A Norfolk farmer, Peter Stringfellow.
