Job: Don't be silly.
Appearance: At parties hosted by anybody who's anybody; on the ski-slopes at Klosters with the princes; in her Sunday Times column to tell us all about the above.
Oh, yawn. I've heard enough stories about It-girls. She can't possibly have done anything to warrant this attention.
Wrong! Ms Palmer-Tomkinson has just checked into an exclusive clinic in the Arizona desert. Her years of non-stop partying have proved too much.
But excess and It-girls are meant to go hand in perfectly-manicured hand.
True, only last week she said that 'you can never be too rich, too thin or have too much cashmere'. But we are assured that her current afflictions are not cashmere-related.
So what is it then? Stress, exhaustion, a little too much... ?
Careful. Her agent says it's nothing 'sinister'. She's suffering from exhaustion and the trip was planned. But speculation about her high-pressured life increased after she appeared on the Frank Skinner show last week in a rather confused state.
Too many bright lights, too few celebrities to name-drop?
P-T was under the impression that the show's host was fictional EastEnders character Frank Butcher. And things got tense when Tara voiced her suspicions that the real-life host, Frank Skinner, was 'taking the piss'.
Oh, I see. She's not being taken seriously. So she'll shortly be relaunching herself as an actress or a UN ambassador.
Funny you should say that. Tara (who recently said she didn't want to be 'typecast as a party girl') is making a stab for the big time with parts in the films Mad Cow and An Ideal Husband.
But this is all so last season. Kate Moss did the whole clinic thing months ago.
Yep. Even Caroline Aherne (the decidedly not 'It' Mrs Merton and fellow columnist on the Sunday Times) beat Tara onto the celebrity exhaustion bandwagon. But they had things to fall back on. Partying is Tara's raison d'etre. Giving it up might seriously upset her career plans.
So, she used to be famous for being famous, and is now famous for being too famous?
How true.
