She looks remarkably good for her age: Indeed, although she is getting a spruce-up.
Why's that? Commercial necessity.
Vatican initiative? No, a rebranding by FW Langguth Erben GmbH, which bought the worldwide rights three years ago.
What about the papacy? How many divisions has the Pope?
What will it mean? A makeover and a move upmarket. It wants to be thought of as fruity rather than sweet.
I see, but old habits die hard. I was rather hoping we'd get through without that joke.
Why was it necessary? Falling consumer interest; a feeling that the image was naff and out of touch. Take-up in the UK is substantially down on the innocent 70s, when no self-respecting diner at a Berni Inn was without one.
Really, how extraordinary. Pastoral work, I suppose. Why did society lose faith? More sophisticated tastes; new offerings from Australia, California, South America, New Zealand.
Cults! Yes, I suppose so. Blossom Hill, Hawke's Bay, Geyserville Ridge, Frog's Leap, Bonny Doon.
How can they be overcome? Spirit.
Of course, divine agency. No doubt that is how its managing director, Richard Hammond, sees it. He has been charged with repositioning it and taking the message to a disbelieving people.
Hallelujah! How does he feel? "It's going to be hard to convince me or you to reconsider Blue Nun. But there are always new consumers."
Doesn't he mean converts? He knows what he means.
Why "blue" nun? Good question - and one Notes & Queries will be addressing next week. (Warning: do not attempt to find the answer to this question on the internet!)
Not to be confused with: The Singing Nun, Sister Wendy, Trevor Nunn.
Do say: "I hate Pass Notes which are predicated on a misunderstanding between questioner and respondent."
Don't say: "Another bottle, please waiter."
