Full name: Baron Hans Heinrich Thyssen-Bornemisza de Kaszon (but Heini to his friends).
Job description: Stratospherically well-off Swiss industrialist.
Cuckoo clocks, designer watches, milk chocolate - that sort of thing? Baron Heini heads a vast banking, mining and shipping dynasty that determined the course of European industry for a century.
Family motto: "Virtue transcends riches."
And does it? Hardly. This week the baron launched a 17-lawyer legal action in Bermuda against his son, Georg (aka Heini Jr).
Can't he just ground him for a week? Or stop his pocket money? Georg's 49, and the family's £2bn fortune is at stake. The baron put his son in control of his cash in 1983 while divorcing his fourth wife, but made sure he still got an annual allowance of £12m to cover essentials. Now he claims the payments dried up in 1995 and he's owed £44m.
And Georg? He says dad overspent on his eight houses in Europe and the Caribbean, and expected his son to foot the bill. But the baron's current wife - former Miss Spain Carmen Cervera, known as "Tita" - says Georg is not her husband's child at all.
Should we believe her? Judge for yourself, with the aid of two facts. One: after the baron sold his £200m collection of Old Masters to the Spanish government in 1993 it was Tita who made sure the walls of the galleries where they were hung were painted bright pink. Two: if control of the fortune reverts to the baron and then he pops his clogs, she'll inherit millions.
Another sad tale of wealth and long names bestowing nothing but misery? Money does have its perks: father and son are teaming up to get a courthouse built quick-time in Bermuda, so they can get the case over with.
Time to change the family motto? Well, the baron himself did once suggest it should be "business success, personal failure".
Don't say: "One day, my son, all this will be... oh, hang on, it already is."
