I beg your pardon? Weren't you asking about her admission that she smoked pot in the 60s?
No. If I'd wanted to know about pot smoking I'd have asked Bill Clinton. But Cilla knows more about it than Bill: she told Mark Lamarr that, unlike the priapic president, she did inhale.
Call the law! If she smokes enough, she probably will.
I'm sorry, you've lost me again. You know, Jude Law. He took Cilla out for dinner and she reckoned he was "gorgeous, gentle and very reverent". She liked him so much she kept his message on her answering machine.
Cilla and Jude? Blimey, the papers were barking up the wrong tree with those stories about - Listen, I am not for one minute suggesting that any red-headed third party had any role in Jude Law's marital problems, all right? Anyway, I thought you wanted to talk about Cilla.
Oh, that's right. Remind me why. Because on Saturday she is presenting her final edition of Blind Date, after having given Amanda Holden her first break on telly, witnessing three Blind Date weddings and presiding over 18 years of brainwashing the gullible into believing there is no letter T in the phrase "a lot of laughs".
But Cilla is Saturday night TV! Remember Roy Walker's Catchphrase? "If you see it, say it"? They used to say that about him, too.
Who's Roy Walker? I rest my case.
Has Cilla got any plans? She's going back to music. She's just released a dance version of her 1968 hit Step Inside Love, remixed by DJ Tommy Sandhu and released under the name TS v CB. And she's signed a deal with EMI with a view to releasing a new album next year.
Do say: Fuck Gillian Wearing.
