This compilation of expressions, heard straight from the horse’s mouth – terrifying PRs and formidable editors — will help you combat expert cattiness and have you screaming “comme c’est vulgaire!’’ in no time.
When: Upon seeing Anna dello Russo
What: “Le ridicule ne tue pas”
Translation: “Ridicule has never killed anyone”
When: Upon receiving your Chanel invite
What: “Le troisième rang? Vous me prenez pour mon stagiaire?”
Translation: “The third row? Are you mistaking me for my intern?”
When: Upon stepping out in Miu Miu platforms
What: “J’ai l’air d’avoir un chauffeur avec ces chaussures?”
Translation: “Do these shoes make me look like I have a driver?”
What: Upon seeing a colleague in a shapeless winter coat
What: “Ca a l’air aussi confortable qu’un sac de couchage!”
Translation: “That looks really comfortable (like a sleeping bag)”
When: Upon witnessing reality TV stars Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid on the catwalk
What: “Il a fait son casting sur Tinder ou quoi?”
Translation: “Where did he find his models – Tinder?”
When: Upon seeing anyone over a UK size 8
What: “Elle, elle mange tous les jours”
Translation: “She looks like she eats every day”
When: Upon seeing designer Rick Owens
What: “C’est Cousin Machin?’ ‘Non, c’est Rick Owens”
Translation: “Is that Cousin It? No that’s Rick Owens”
When: Upon sititing down to lunch
What: “Du beurre? Seulement en sac à main Céline’”
Translation: “Butter? Only if you’re talking about the leather of a Céline handbag”
When: Upon seeing North West on the Frow
What: “Le bébé qui pleure, c’est vraiment le It Bag de l’hiver 2015”
Translation: “A weeping baby truly is the It Bag for autumn/winter 2015”
When: Upon asking what a model does to pass the time backstage
What: “Les seules choses qu’elle lit sont les étiquettes dans ses vêtements Hermès”
Translation: “The only things she reads are the labels inside her Hermès clothes”
What: Upon seeing a hideous collection
What: “C’est beau, surtout les chaussures”
Translation: “Nice collection, especially the shoes” (Read: “That was a a terrible show”)
When: Upon seeing Kris Jenner
What: “C’est Karl Lagerfeld sans le catogan”
Translation: “Kris Jenner is Karl Lagerfeld minus the ponytail”
What: Upon seeing someone in denim cut offs and tights
What: “C’est pas mal, très 2012”
Translation: “Not bad, very 2012” (Read: “She looks like Kate Moss at Glastonbury festival”)
What: Upon realising you have three shows back-to-back
What: “Il fait trop chaud pour mon col roulé cachemire Bottega?”
Translation: “Is it too hot for my Bottega cashmere poloneck?”
When: Upon realising you look awful
What: “Ma tenue me dégoute, ou est le Monoprix le plus proche”
Translation: “My outfit doesn’t work – where is the nearest Monoprix?”
When: Upon spying something pretty but tatty
What: “C’est Guérisol? Non c’est Gucci’”
Translation: “Is that vintage [Guérisol is the city’s leading secondhand boutique] or is that Gucci?”
When: Upon seeing the gender neutral trend
What: “C’était une modeuse Simone de Beauvoir?”
Translation: “Was Simone de Beauvoir a fashionista?”
When: On noticing the ankle-flashing sliver trend
What: “C’est indécent mon décolleté de chevilles?”
Translation: “Is my ankle cleavage too big?”
When: Upon being scowled at on the Métro
What: “Je mets ce que je veux, je suis Anglaise”
Translation: “I can wear whatever I want, I’m British.”
When: Upon seeing “the dress”
What: “Cette robe est noire et bleue ou blanche et or?”
Translation: “Is this dress black and blue or white and gold?”
