Worlds-colliding news from Dublin, where in the course of a speech Heather Mills has revealed some more Stuff That Might Or Might Not Have Actually Happened.
Naturally, it could never replace Lost in Showbiz's favourite anecdote, culled from Heather's totally magical 1993 autobiography Out On A Limb. For as we can never tire of saying, what else can you call it but conjuring, when a "ran away to join the circus" episode is fashioned from a more prosaic reality ("once knocked off a chap who worked on the waltzer")?
Anyway, this latest tale does involve Paris Hilton, and the way Heather tells it - stay with this - she invited the celebutante round to her gaffe in LA because she was bored and she fancied lambasting someone in Hollywood about their wearing of fur. I paraphrase slightly, but it's all here.
Because she's a total hardass, Paris turned up, and Heather showed her a load of feline snuff videos and whatnot, and Paris used up a whole box of tissues crying because - as Heather puts it - "it turns out she had that make of cat".
"Make"? As it goes, the public records do not indicate the Hilton menagerie includes a cat, but we'll throw Heather a bone on this one.
After all, if true, the anecdote would plainly suggest that last year, at an unspecified location in Los Angeles, some kind of tear opened up briefly in the dumbo-activism continuum, potentially throwing into chaos the pre-ordained future of thousands of lavishly-pelted kitties and possibly the whole of humanity. One of our ladies is going to have to have to go back in time to put things right. But which?
