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Chronicle Live
National
Nicole Goodwin

Parents who fear council will remove babies' memorials join forces to protect Gateshead cemetery site

Grieving parents who feared their babies' memorials were about to be taken away have joined forces to protect their graves.

Parents were left devastated when Gateshead Council placed a sign in Saltwell Cemetery's children and baby garden asking parents to "remove all unauthorised memorial items" from their plots.

It added that "unauthorised memorials and borders are not permitted" and explained that the council needed access in order to maintain the land.

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But now parents have set up a Facebook group to help parents and schedule the maintenance of the site themselves.

And they hope that it will enable them to keep their babies' plots decorated with the teddies, ornaments and colourful borders which bring so much comfort to grieving families.

Toni Guest, who organised the group, said: "I've set the page up because I thought it would be a good idea for all parents, brothers, sisters to get together and talk about the baby beds keeping it up to standards.

"Some parents might find it hard going down and keeping their baby's beds clean and tidy so I've set the group up willing to help people out with the upkeep of the beds and keeping them clean."

Toni, who lost a baby brother nearly eight years ago, added: "The response I've had has been amazing and everyone is willing to help.

"Also from me making a post on my social media there's been amazing people who don't have children in that part who are willing to help."

Memorials at the Baby Garden at Saltwell Cemetery in Gateshead (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

Group members have agreed to carry out regular maintenance of the baby garden between March and September.

This will involve keeping all graves clean and tidy, removing any rubbish from the area and turning the soil on the beds on a monthly basis.

They also plan to mow the grass in the baby garden and will continue to clean the area during visits in the winter months.

Gateshead Council say it is supportive of parents who are offering to maintain areas of Saltwell Cemetery and will work closely with them to ensure the areas concerned are maintained on an ongoing basis to a suitable standard.

Bereaved mum Ashleigh Thompson, who set up a petition demanding that the council refrain from touching memorials, commended the parents' plans to maintain the site themselves.

Left to right, Kirsty-Lee Wilkinson, Rebecca Cawley, Rebecca Pearson and Charlotte Birdsall at the Baby Garden in Saltwell Cemetery, Gateshead (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

She said: "Sometimes when you can't get down for three or four weeks you feel guilty so it's good that we've all said that we're going to chip in and take care of all of the graves when we go down."

The 38-year-old lost her two-year-old daughter Jess in 2019 after she tragically passed away following a routine operation.

Ashleigh added: "It's our little space for our kids and we’re just trying to do something nice for them, which isn't causing anybody any harm.

"Those items that we put down are precious to us because they mean something to us."

Bereaved mum Carly Musgrove also supported the parents' plans to maintain the land themselves.

She is one of 56 members who have pledged their support for the plans.

Carly lost her baby girl after her heart stopped beating when she was 34 weeks pregnant.

The 38-year-old was pregnant with twins, Finn and Freya, and tragically had to give birth knowing that Freya hadn't survived.

Carly, from South Shields, said she was "devastated" to learn that the council wanted her to remove the items placed at Freya's resting place at Saltwell Cemetery.

Carly Musgrove has decorated Freya's plot with a bright pink border and lots of butterfly ornaments, which she says she chose to symbolise twin baby loss (Carly Musgrove)

She feels she has not been able to properly grieve for Freya since her passing as she has been caring for Finn, who is now six months old.

And she was hoping the baby garden would help her with the grieving process, after laying Freya to rest at the cemetery in August 2021.

Carly has decorated Freya's plot with a bright pink border and lots of butterfly ornaments, which she says she chose to symbolise twin baby loss.

She said: "I was devastated when I heard the council wanted us to take the memorials away.

"I really hope they reconsider their decision because I just want somewhere nice for Freya.

"I have family and friends who visit with flowers and candles so I want it to be nice for them too."

Carly added: "We chose Saltwell Cemetery because we wanted somewhere that we could take Finn when he was older to visit his sister.

"It's close to Saltwell Park so we thought it would be nice to take him there after visiting his sister to make it more of a special day for him."

A spokesperson for Gateshead Council said: "Gateshead Council is aware a group offering to maintain areas of Saltwell Cemetery.

"We are entirely supportive of this and can confirm it is working closely with families to ensure the areas concerned are maintained on an ongoing basis to a suitable standard that allows safe access and benefits all visitors.

"Reiterating our previous statement, the only permitted memorials are a marker, which can be stone or wooden, fixed or freestanding, bearing personal content, and flowers.

"While we will continue to discourage additional memorial items, and do our best to advise on the reasons for doing so, namely to enable maintenance of the site and to ensure safe access for all, we do sympathise with the reasons for their placement, and will never remove any items without permission.

"Should any families have any concerns we would encourage them to contact the council directly and we will do our best to assist and reassure them."

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