A new survey by Babycentre has revealed that more and more new parents are naming their babies after characters from TV shows. But what sort of life can these children expect? Let's take a look into the future.
Skyler (up 70% from last year)
Skyler always wondered why men automatically hated her. They'd ask her name, she'd tell them and then they'd shout "Jesus! Stop nagging, you shrieking harpy!" at her, before storming off or laughing maniacally in a crawlspace or throwing an entire pizza on to her roof. Eventually she realised that this is simply how society reacts to strong, nonsubmissive, ill-treated women, and set about making a lucrative side-career from writing comment pieces about it.
Brody (up 40%)
Society has long known not to trust people with two first names, like Tim Allen or Stewart Lee. But Brody was named after a Homeland character, and found himself in the enviable position of having two surnames. As a result, he automatically became the most trusted man on the face of the planet; something he'd use to his advantage when it came to becoming a double agent for the Iranians.
Saul (up 25%)
Saul was conflicted. He knew his parents had named him after a TV character, but which one – Kindly Saul from Homeland, or slimy Saul from Breaking Bad? What should he do? Be good or evil? Grow a beard or an elaborate combover? Be the emotional pillar or the comic relief? Eventually, Saul struck an uneasy compromise, and spent his entire life being corrupt and self-interested, but looking really world-weary while he did it.
Violet (up 17%)
At first, Violet just thought that she was named after a plant. But why was her mother so obsessed with training her in the art of the waspish putdown? Why was she forced to dress like Queen Victoria in mourning, even as a toddler in the summer? Eventually she realised that her parents were compulsive Downton Abbey fans, and resigned herself to being desperately sad and uncomfortable, but a hoot at dinner parties.
Joffrey (no increase)
No children have been named after Joffrey Baratheon yet. But when they are, it's inevitable that they'll be as bad-tempered and evil as their Game of Thrones namesake. This is simply what happens when you're forced to spend your entire life pointing out that your name isn't actually Jeffrey to everyone you meet.
