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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Parenting is shaped by societal expectations and support structures

Mother and son holding hands
‘In Portugal, accessible childcare significantly eases the load on parents.’ Photograph: Alamy

Regarding the letter (We’re too obsessed with ‘child-centred’ parenting – in Spain, the happy family comes first, 23 May), the issue isn’t just about parenting styles, it’s about broader societal expectations. I’m a British woman raising my two young children in Portugal, which I would describe as family-oriented. Here, children are naturally integrated into everyday life, and the sense of solidarity that Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett refers to (19 May) is the norm.

A cornerstone of this community-based approach is high-quality, accessible childcare. Nurseries are staffed by experienced professionals and are affordable, if not free. Here, it’s normal for babies to attend nursery full-time from the age of six months.

By contrast, when I told peers in the UK that my children attended nursery full-time from 12 months, I was met with thinly veiled disapproval. The individualistic approach to parenting in the UK is ingrained. In Portugal, accessible childcare significantly eases the load on parents. Instead of debating parenting styles, perhaps we should focus on the social frameworks that support or strain families.
Su Weeks
Lisbon, Portugal

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