For new mums – and dads making use of shared paternity laws – returning to work after parental leave can be a daunting experience.
Taking this step requires support and understanding from partners, employers and colleagues, as well as pragmatism and courage from the person returning. Re-entering working life is a very different experience for each individual, and many find it understandably challenging. I have two children, but each time I returned to work following maternity leave couldn’t have been more different.
Let me tell you a little more about each.
My first child was born in late 2009, and thanks to the time I’d spent on maternity leave, I had a fresh sense of purpose: I felt I was capable of doing anything. As often is the case, on my return to the labour market I joined a new company. In some ways, this helped ease me back into work, as I wasn’t expected to know everything and was given a chance to find my feet before being thrown in at the deep end. I felt empowered by my new role as a parent. I was more decisive and viewed life through a new, different lense: after all it’s only work.
In contrast, coming back into the same company after the birth of my second child gave me a totally different perspective. I really felt like James Stewart in It’s A Wonderful Life. On my return, I saw what my team was like without me and it was fascinating.
Inevitably, a long period of absence means that the business moves on. What I saw was that people change, priorities shift and team dynamics alter. Re-entering the workplace can often cause angst or confusion among colleagues – understandably, it’s difficult to have to pick up responsibilities from mums-and-dads-to-be, then hand them back once they return from parental leave. All this is incredibly unnerving for the person returning.
Over an extended period of time certain tasks become an integral part of a person’s job role, and it isn’t always a relief to hand them back. So I made it my mission to find out what had happened while I was away and where the main frustrations lay, so I could integrate back into the business and rebuild my team. Never is emotional intelligence as vital as when you are navigating your own complex feelings about work, as well as trying to understand how your return affects those around you.
However, taking steps to reintegrate into the workplace shouldn’t just be the responsibility of returners. It’s up to employers to implement simple initiatives that enable those returning to immediately feel like a member of the team again.
A gradual return is the first stepping-stone. It really helps to build relationships back up and get everyone back into the swing of things. These relationships are absolutely vital, so inviting absent employees to work socials is a must to keep them feeling part of the team. But don’t rely on late night alcohol-assisted sessions – respect the fact that they’ve recently been through a major life change and might need to head home on time.
It’s a whole different ball game when working parents are back up to full capacity again. For me, successfully balancing work and family was very difficult and something that I wasn’t entirely prepared for. I was lucky to have the support of my husband as we redesigned our lives. An early meeting or post-5pm finish used to be simple to organise, but with kids, it becomes a full-on balancing act. However, what I didn’t expect was the acceptance most of my colleagues, clients and contacts had. Rather than an awkward show of non-commitment, leaving at the end of the working day became the new normal for me. I adopted the philosophy of “if it can’t get done by the end of the day, it can wait”.
In my opinion, the most important consideration is the type of work that new mums and dads are returning to. I’ve always said, if I’m not spending time with my children, I have to be doing something I love; something worthwhile. Being able to work in an autonomous, collaborative and engaging environment means this is more than just a job for me: it’s a career.
