Paolo Maldini

"Paolo has been sent to the Sheringham Cybernetics Laboratory for a refit," cackles Robert Schofield. Photograph: /x

Taka Kataoka offers the second of a deluge of film references this week. Here's a little clarity for anyone else who avoids Will Smith movies like the plague. Photograph: x

"Lo è vinto cinque volte, lo è vinto cinque volte, la tazza europea, lui lo è vinto cinque volte," chants John Barry in his best Italian accent. Apparently that translates as: "He won it five times, he won it five times, the European Cup, he won it five times." So now you know. Photograph: /x

"This is what Panini stickers looked like when little Paolino started out," writes Andrew Ives, who gets extra bonus brownie points for the utter lack of cinematic references in his effort. Unless Il Mago is holding a lightsaber. In which case: Bah! Photograph: /x

"From the moment he was scouted they knew he would lead an extraordinarily long career," titters Al Berry. Photograph: x

Magda Szopa has thrown the kitchen sink at this one, including a dig at England's penalty-taking ineptitude. Bravo! Photograph: /x

"I know it's cruel and irreverent," writes Ian Davies, who may have missed a few things here on football.guardian.co.uk over the past decade or so. "But I couldn't help myself." Photograph: /x

"Am I the only one who thinks Maldini looks like a young Emperor Palpatine? " asks Adrian Moore plaintively. "Yes? Oh ..." Photograph: x

"Paolo bettered Cesare's playing career but once that's over he may still inherit his face," mutters Gary Burns darkly. Photograph: /x