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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Nick Miller (the morning session and the bit before tea) and Simon Burnton (the bit after lunch and the evening session)

Pakistan v England: first Test, day four –as it happened

Alastair Cook leaves the field after being dismissed for 263.
Alastair Cook leaves the field after being dismissed for 263. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Well then, that’s it. Alastair Cook’s epic, 856-minute innings defines the day. He got out weakly, top-edging a paddle-sweep, and to a no ball as well, so he’ll probably be a mixture of exultant, relieved, irritated and asleep this evening. One day to go: could there possibly be a sudden, late narrative-swing towards a result here? Well, never say never, I suppose. Though no. Anyway, we’ll be back in the morning to tell you what happens. Bye!

Updated

STUMPS: England lead by 46

196.3 overs: England 569-8 (Rashid 6, Broad 0)

For the first time in approximately ages and ages, some something-other-than-spin: it’s Rahat Ali. There’s a general sense of we’re-about-to-go-home about it, though, and halfway through the over the light meters come out and the players go off. Really quite quickly. It is over 30 years since Pakistan were last called upon to bowl so many overs in a single innings, and they thoroughly deserve a long soak in a nice, bubbly bath. Or whatever it is tired sportspeople do these days.

196th over: England 568-8 (Rashid 5, Broad 0)

Rashid advances to Zulfiqar, and hits through midwicket, the ball fielded just before the rope for three. “Now I’m really depressed,” writes Robert Wilson, after Cook’s dismissal. “The light has gone out. What was it all for? (That said, if this match ends in an epoch-defining, spectacular victory for either side, how stupid are we all going to look?).”

Updated

195th over: England 565-8 (Rashid 2, Broad 0)

The umpires ask for the light meter at the end of Malik’s over, which yields a single for Rashid. They can in theory ply for another 20 minutes. For future reference, all the other sub-300 individua scores that now remain unscored:

194th over: England 564-8 (Rashid 1, Broad 0)

No maiden here - Zulfiqar’s first delivery is thundered back over his head by the advancing Buttler for six, who a couple of balls later advances again to loft the ball over the cover fielders for four. That prompts Shafiq to move a little deeper at extra cover, and when Buttler attempts to repeat the shot off the next ball, but doesn’t quite catch it so sweetly, the ball drops into his hands.

WICKET! Buttler c Shafiq b Zulfiqar 23 (England 563-8)

Now the spinners run wild! Zulfiqar’s first wicket arrives in his 69th over, as Buttler - who let himself off the leash, having already scored 10 off the over - attempted to clear extra cover and doesn’t.

193rd over: England 553-7 (Buttler 13, Rashid 0)

A Malik maiden to Rashid. “Simon, can you just confirm how many heads Cook has?” asks Harvey Milk. “You mentioned he shook several of them as he was walking off…” I can confirm that he does indeed have only one head, though he is occasionally caught in two minds.

192nd over: England 553-7 (Buttler 13, Rashid 0)

Awkward over ffrom Buttler, who could have been caught at silly point, and then speared the ball in the air to midwicket, just far enough from the fielder, and gets four for his troubles. Cook’s was the first ever 263 in the history of Test cricket, and he got out to the man who earlier in this very match scored the first ever 245.

191st over: England 549-7 (Buttler 9, Rashid 0)

And it was a no-ball! The umpires didn’t check, but no part of Malik’s foot was on the right side of the line as it landed (though he did drag it back mid-delivery)! Cook has been wronged there. No reason not to check, pretty much routine these days.

WICKET! Cook c Masood b Malik 263 (England 549-7)

It’s over! England’s captain scoops the ball into the air and walks off shaking his heads. I know what he’s thinking: he’s really not fulfilled his potential here.

Alastair Cook walks after being dismissed.
Alastair Cook walks after being dismissed. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

190th over: England 549-6 (Cook 263, Buttler 9)

Another over, another single from Cook. But then ...

189th over: England 548-6 (Cook 262, Buttler 9)

Lovely reverse sweep from Buttler, beautifully timed, and the ball rockets away to the boundary. He tries it again next ball, though, and misses. Sarfraz catches the ball and appeals wildly, inhales, appeals wildly again, inhales, and appeals wildly again. Really, he put his all into that. Again, however, the umpire is unimpressed. Replays suggest the ball may indeed flicked off the underside of the batsman’s glove on its way through, but the umpire was unsighted and there was no noticeable sound.

188th over: England 542-6 (Cook 261, Buttler 4)

Buttler taps through the covers for three. Six of his last seven Test innings have ended for 13 runs or fewer, so he must be sniffing a little overdue average-recalibration here.

187th over: England 539-6 (Cook 261, Buttler 1)

So England’s lead is now 16, though scoring is far from brisk. A tiring Shoaib Malik bowls an over at a surely exhausted Alastair Cook, who gets two with a push into the leg side.

186th over: England 537-6 (Cook 259, Buttler 1)

More encouragement for the spinners, as Zulfiqar gets the ball to spin heavily out of the rough, past Buttler’s bat, off Sarfraz Ahmed’s wrist and away for a bye.

185th over: England 535-6 (Cook 258, Buttler 1)

Cook, sadly, seems increasingly likely to run out of partners before he reaches 400 runs, so he might have to lower his target back to just the 300.

WICKET! Stokes b Malik 57 (England 534-6)

A spinner takes a wicket! Their long, hard, nearly-four-day search for any kind of anything is over! Shoaib Malik makes the breakthrough, as Stokes advances and is beaten by some sharp turn. The umpires want to check that it wasn’t a no-ball, and though it would have been fabulously hilarious had the wicket been chalked off, it’s not!

Updated

184th over: England 534-5 (Cook 258, Stokes 57)

England add four singles to their slowly but inexorably rising total.

183rd over: England 529-5 (Cook 256, Stokes 54)

Malik bowls at Stokes, who attempts a reverse sweep and misses completely, the ball skimming into his pads. There’s a confident appeal from Malik, but the umpire is unmoved and there are no reviews to throw at the situation. Looked a good shout to me, but it’s all down to whether a reverse-sweeping left-hander is reclassified at that moment as a right-hander for umpiring purposes. Anyway, he got away with it, and the spinners’ toil continues.

182nd over: England 526-5 (Cook 255, Stokes 52)

Cook sweeps fine for four, and England are now ahead on first-innings scores. Furthermore, I do believe that somewhere in this over, or failing that the last, the total number of spin deliveries bowled in this Test without wicket-taking reward passed 1,000 (thanks to Will Cook for the all-important statsguru link).

181st over: England 522-5 (Cook 251, Stokes 52)

Stokes smashes the ball through midwicket for four to reach and indeed pass 50. It’s been an excellent innings, and has settled England down after it briefly seemed like they were, well, a little unsettled. Some more stats for your delectation:

180th over: England 517-5 (Cook 250, Stokes 48)

Shot! Stokes hits through the covers for four, finding the gap perfectly, and just as it looks like he might reach his first half-century before Cook reaches his fifth, he takes a single. Cook survives an lbw appeal, the ball surely heading wide of leg stump, and then nudges the next square for the single that takes him to 250.

Alastair Cook celebrates after reaching 250.
Alastair Cook celebrates after reaching 250. Photograph: Hafsal Ahmed/AP

Updated

179th over: England 511-5 (Cook 249, Stokes 43)

Two more singles, but as an added bonus Malik bowls one that keeps low, and it skims under Stokes’ bat, through the legs of Sarfraz Ahmed and away for four byes.

178th over: England 505-5 (Cook 248, Stokes 42)

After the four scored in Zulfi’s latest over we’ve now had eleven singles since any plurality of runs was last scored, way back in the halcyon days of over 175.

177th over: England 501-5 (Cook 246, Stokes 40)

Cook nurdles a single, and England’s score ticks to 500. “I think we should be positive,” writes Ian Palmer. “This test has been wonderful for numerous reasons. Allow me to play one of them out to show the true wonderfulness of this Test: lots of people (me included) have got lots more work done than normal during a Test - which is good for the economy. When the economy is doing well it is a true fact that as a nation we give more money to charity. The more money goes to charity the more people and animals in the world are better treated / cared for / helped etc, and the happier the world is overall. Therefore, this Test match is wonderful because it makes the world happier.” That is indeed a splendidly positive reading of the situation, and I for one am happier as a result of it. And I’m not even a poorly animal. Imagine how a lame donkey must be feeling right now. Special times.

176th over: England 499-5 (Cook 245, Stokes 39)

Spinners at both ends at the moment, with Zulfiqar bowling in tandem with Shoaib, so we’re ripping through the overs. “Can I be the first to suggest that he set his sights a little higher than 300? Bat most of tomorrow and take out Lara’s 400?” writes Lindsay Went. No you may not. It was discussed on Sky earlier, with Michael Holding correctly noting that they’d probably need a sixth day for him to get there.

175th over: England 496-5 (Cook 243, Stokes 38)

Shoaib Malik continues. In fact, the highest score I can find from a batsman who wasn’t the game’s top scorer is 287, by Kumar Sangakkara against South Africa in Colombo in 2006, when Jayawardene got 374.

174th over: England 493-5 (Cook 242, Stokes 35)

The answer to your question, Burt Macklin, is no: Sir Conrad Hunte scored 260 for West Indies against Pakistan in 1958, only to be considerably outshone by Sir Garfield Sobers, who scored 365 not out, while Sri Lanka v New Zealand in Wellington in 1991 featured 267 for Aravinda Da Silva and 299 for Martin Crowe. There may be more.

Updated

173rd over: England 489-5 (Cook 241, Stokes 33)

Shoaib Malik replaces Imran Khan with some spin, and England score some singles.

Hmmm. I’ll try to work that out. If either side loses the match from here, there’ll probably be a new record for the highest individual score in a losing cause, currently held by Ricky Ponting with 242.

172nd over: England 486-5 (Cook 240, Stokes 31)

“Lets be honest, there is eff all chance of a result on this wicket and he might as well try for his treble,” says Nick Clark, as Stokes scores two to midwicket, again, and then down the ground, along the ground, fine effort, for four. “There isn’t anything else to go for.” If Stokes were to keep scoring at his current rate, and stay in for as long as Cook, he’d be on 313. True fact.

171st over: England 479-5 (Cook 240, Stokes 24)

Stokes nudges the first ball of Imran Khan’s over well wide of the wicket-keeper for four, and then hits to midwicket for two, breaking the handle of his bat in the process. He’s eventually brought three more to choose from. “Even if Cook is going for a win, declaring today is surely not the way to go about it,” writes Tim Colyer. “England’s only hope of victory (and it’s very narrow) would surely be to keep batting until sometime after lunch tomorrow, building up enough of a lead to have a chance of victory in the event of an horrendous second innings Pakistan collapse?” That is certainly the best way of potentially winning while removing potentially losing from the possible outcomes, but fails to impart any potential drama to this session.

170th over: England 472-5 (Cook 240, Stokes 17)

Rahat Ali takes the ball, and Cook immediately adds another couple of runs to his swelling tally. A pair of singles follow.

So, a key session about to begin. Will England knock off the 55 runs they need to reach first-innings parity and put Pakistan in for a testy half-hour at the end of the day, or will Cook stick around, happy to sacrifice the vague and far-fetched possibility of victory for the sake of reaching his own treble century? Time will tell, and not much of it either, in the scheme of things.

Tea - England 468-5 - trail by 55 runs

And that’s tea. Cook is still there, imperiously batting on, having been there since the start, which was at some point in the 1950s. That session did at least show some hope for the bowlers, with Wahab getting some rapid reverse swing with the old ball but by the time he really got the ball to talk he was wiped out, and is hopefully having a nice lie down and a mocktail with a little umbrella in it. Simon Burnton will take you home from here.

Updated

169th over: England 468-5 (Cook 237, Stokes 16)
Cook, even at this advanced stage of his innings (470 balls, if you’re keeping track) is still a model of restraint, regarding a shortish wide ball from Khan that he could easily have thrown the lot at, but instead he calmly watched it go past. The next delivery is more to his liking, and he flicks it through square leg for a single. Khan then appeals for lbw, a maverick shout given that it was about six inches from the Stokes pads, and furthermore hit roughly the middle of the bat. But still, you do weird things when you’re hot, knackered and have bowled 24 overs for virtually bugger all.

168th over: England 467-5 (Cook 236, Stokes 16)
Malik gives Wahab a rest, Stokes sweeps, it’s a bit top-edgy, but it loops into a large area of human-free green field, and he gets himself two runs.

After the mention of Brassed Off a couple of overs ago, here’s a lovely bit from that lovely film.

167th over: England 465-5 (Cook 236, Stokes 14)
Imran Khan is into the attack, and Cook shovels a single around the corner - that’s now his second-highest Test score, beating the 235 against Australia at Brisbane, but still behind the 294 against India at Edgbaston. Stokes, much more comfortable against anyone who isn’t Wahab Riaz, clips a boundary off his shins, very fine to the fine leg fence...and in the middle of the over, they’re taking the new ball, catching the umpires slightly unawares as the thirdy had to bring it onto the field. Stokes edges the third ball of the fresh orb, but it drops just in front of third slip, who misfields and they nab a single.

On the ‘Just Can’t Be Bothered Anymore’ subject (over 155), James Sadler writes: “As a teenager I watched Graham Yallop get out to the laziest and most knackered shot I have ever seen at any level of cricket. It was at the Boxing Day test at the MCG in 1983 against ... Pakistan. Mind you he had scored 268.”

166th over: England 459-5 (Cook 235, Stokes 9)
Wahab puts a little bit too much reverse on another attempted yorker, and the batsmen take two off Stokes’s heels. The next one is better directed, again they plead, beg, ask very nicely indeed for a wicket, but that was hooping well down leg, and poor old Wahab very briefly looks like Stephen Tompkinson’s character in ‘Brassed Off’, in the bit where his wife and kids have left, the bailiffs have cleared out his house and he’s left sitting in an empty living room.

165th over: England 457-5 (Cook 235, Stokes 9)
Cook places two beautifully wide of mid-wicket, then taps a single in roughly the same direction. Stokes, hitherto looking like a man with ants in his breeches, then plays his first proper shot, thwacking a sweep through square for four.

164th over: England 449-5 (Cook 232, Stokes 4)
More reverse from Wahab, and he goes up for another big lbw shout, but that was tailing down leg. The vehemence of the appeal suggests they might have reviewed it, but they don’t have one left. Wahab ends the over with a ripper of an inswinging yorker that comes extremely close to cleaning up Stokes, but for an inside-edge that sends the ball between leg and stumps and to the fine boundary. That, friends, was bloody close.

“All England cricket arm-wrestling contests will be won in perpetuity by the girder-armed Robin Smith,” writes Robert Wilson, quite rightly deferring to old Judge. “There is, quite obviously, no contest. So, a more interesting question about current players is whose post-career ‘An Evening With...’ you would go and see? Or less disturbingly, which of these mature and reponsible young men would you allow to babysit your children?”

163rd over: England 444-5 (Cook 231, Stokes 0)
A Cook single brings us to the lesser-spotted quadruple Nelson, then Stokes shoves his bat and pad loosely in the way of the remainder of the over, keeping the ball away from trouble, but not entirely convincingly.

Graeme Thorn has a theory: “To prevent “one wicket often gets another” on days with long partnerships in hot weather, would it not be worth rotating who’s in next? Having the next batsman waiting on the balcony (or in the pavilion) for 4-5 hours can’t be healthy for his/her mental state. There’s a perfect opportunity for England to practise this on these dead pitches in the UAE, particularly with Root/Bairstow/Bell all capable of batting at 3/4/5 (or even 6). I can’t be the first person to think about this, can I?”

162nd over: England 443-5 (Cook 230, Stokes 0)
Wahab, who - possibly going slightly peculiar in the heat - skips and hops to retrieve the ball from short cover, as if he’s on Mark Wood’s imaginary horse and it’s bucking. Wahab gets Ben Stokes’s first delivery to duck in a little with a whiff of reverse, nearly trapping him in front. Stokes then tries to leave outside off, but doesn’t get his bat out of the way in time and nearly inside-edges onto the stumps.

Slight correction on the wicket - it was definitely pitching in line, but it was the hitting of both pads and stumps that were umpire’s call.

WICKET! Bairstow lbw b Wahab Riaz 8 - England 443-5

The review shows it pitching just inline with leg, and even more just hitting. Not as daft a review as it first looked, with both ruled umpire’s call, but he’s out anyway.

Review!

Wahab gets Bairstow trapped in front, but the Yorkie goes upstairs. It looked dead at first look.

161st over: England 443-4 (Cook 230, Bairstow 8)
Boooooooooooooooo. Cook drives through mid on and, as if cruelly taunting us, virtually walks the single that kills the 229 dream. Still, onto the next one...

160th over: England 441-4 (Cook 229, Bairstow 7)
Cook drives out to the cover sweeper for a single, meaning he is now on Tom Bowtell’s magic number. If he has any soul at all, he’ll shoulder arms to the next straight one he gets.

More thoughts on the big debate of the session, from Robin Hazlehurst: “Interesting question in over 157 about the arm-wrestling, but it would be complicated by the number of left-handers in the England team. You’d have to expect the lefties to win with their stronger arm, but to lose out in a right-arm contest. So you’d need to have separate wrestles with each arm to make it fair, sort of like home and away matches. In which case, you want to look at someone ambidextrous for the title, say someone who bowls right-armed but bats left-handed - step forward Jimmy Anderson as the England arm wrestle king.”

And then Alexander Bramble: “Stokes is indeed the obvious front-runner, but supposing we’re imagining some kind of tournament format, if Stokes had to overcome Bairstow or Jordan in the semis he might come unstuck against Liam “Pudsy” Plunkett in the final; he’s something of a tank...”

159th over: England 440-4 (Cook 228, Bairstow 7)
Cook drives pleasantly through the covers for three, then Bairstow plays out the rest of the over. Those runs take Cook to 228, so it’s a good time for this mail from Tom Bowtell: “I hope Cook will do the decent thing and get out for 229 - the lowest score never made by a batsman in Tests.”

158th over: England 437-4 (Cook 225, Bairstow 7)
A thick edge for Cook brings a single, which is all from the over. Ben Stokes looks like he’s having a quick nap in his pads, waiting, waiting, waiting for his turn to bat.

Further to Simon’s talk about how far Cook has walked/run in his innings, here’s our own Mike Selvey with another thought: “Also worked out that he has walked roughly two and a half miles to square leg and back between deliveries.”

Nick Miller here now to take you through to tea. Will Cook break the Test batting record in the next hour? Only time will tell. Email Nick.Miller@theGuardian.com or tweet @NickMiller79

Updated

157th over: England 436-4 (Cook 224, Bairstow 7)

Rahat bowls a five-sixths of a maiden to Bairstow, who nurdles a couple from the last. “In order to stir some merriment from the weary readers, I thought we could have a debate,” suggests Ian Palmer. “Which England player do you think would win in an arm wrestling contest? Root looks too wispy to have any great strength, and Cook is usually too tired from batting for a long period. I can’t see beyond Stokes at present. Anyone else?” Stokes would seem a decent bet, but I think Bairstow has the look of someone who is normally terribly quiet but turns into an absolute demon in a pillow fight.

156th over: England 434-4 (Cook 224, Bairstow 5)

Pakistan only batted for 151.1 overs, so England have now been in the middle for longer, and remain 89 runs behind. Still, this ain’t a race. Well, strictly speaking it kind of is, in a way, usually, but this ceased to be one a while ago.

155th over: England 432-4 (Cook 223, Bairstow 4)

Ian Botham announces on Sky that Cook is the only opening batsman in the entire history of all Test cricket (I’d be fairly confident about expanding this to cover T20s and ODIs as well, to be fair) ever to bat for seven hours or more twice. He scores a single off Rahat Ali’s first delivery, and Bairstow sees out the over without scoring. “As a serious historian of the game,” writes Robert Wilson, “can you tell me whether a batsman has ever formally been out Just Can’t Be Bothered Anymore? Stokes, jcbba, Khan, 47 for example? And if not, could you quickly check for Sod This For a Game of Soldiers?”

154th over: England 431-4 (Cook 222, Bairstow 4)

Bairstow gets off the mark in style, pushing Zulfiqar through the covers for a very handsome four. “If you add to the 3.4 miles between the wickets the distance that Cook has run down the wicket in the act of hoicking the spinners back over their heads for a straight six, that brings the actual distance run by Cook in this innings to 3.4 miles,” calculates Ant Pease.

153rd over: England 426-4 (Cook 221, Bairstow 0)

Good bowling from Rahat Ali, whose last couple of overs have reminded us that there is potential here for seam bowlers. Root trudges off shaking his head, disconsolate at only getting the 85 runs.

WICKET! Root c Sarfraz Ahmed b Rahat Ali 85 (England 426-4)

A little nick from Root and this time Sarfraz Ahmed takes a fine catch, diving low to his right!

152nd over: England 425-3 (Cook 220, Root 85)

I spend the entire over trying to find a particular statistic and not really getting anywhere, and then something exciting happens straight after it, so it’s just not going to get properly described. Sorry.

Updated

151st over: England 422-3 (Cook 218, Root 84)

Some more genuine encouragement from Pakistan’s bowlers, as Rahat Ali bowls wide and Cook tries to cut it to third man and misses. Alright, not a lot of encouragement, but it’s something. Then he edges the next ball, though it doesn’t even nearly carry to the wicket-keeper, and a single later he bowls across Root, who plays and misses.

150th over: England 421-3 (Cook 217, Root 84)

Zulfiqar bowls, Cook tries to reverse sweep, misses, and the ball hits his rear pad, about a foot outside the line. Still, Zulfi appeals. Alone, desperate. This is what we’ve reduced him to. The umpire doesn’t even shake his head, just ignores him.

149th over: England 418-3 (Cook 214, Root 84)

Imran Khan doesn’t deviate from his line, flinging the ball down towards off stump, and Root, without any weak or wide deliveries off which to feed, doesn’t score any runs or really try to. Christopher Davis emails with a “pedant alert” relating to my Alastair Cook distancerunometer of over 145. “Cook has also had to run as non striker and for extras which takes it up to 3.4 miles ran,” he notes. Obviously I knew that, but ran out of time in which to work it out.

148th over: England 418-3 (Cook 214, Root 84)

Root gets two runs off each of Zulfiqar’s first two deliveries, plus a bonus single later, and if Pakistan hoped that the extended lunch break might destroy either batsman’s focus or fluency it is looking a little forlorn.

147th over: England 413-3 (Cook 214, Root 79)

Imran Khan bowls a maiden at Cook, but between deliveries Sky spot a game of cricket being played on a concrete wicket on scrubland nearby, stay with it, and actually catch a wicket falling, all of it broadcast live across the world with full commentary by various former internationalists. It was a horrible run-out, the batsman at the non-striker’s end getting himself marooned horribly midwicket when there was never a run there.

Updated

146th over: England 413-3 (Cook 214, Root 79)

Zulfiqar bowls, and almost immediately launches into a really quite noisy lbw shout against Root. The umpire is unmoved, and there’s no review - just as well, as HawkEye says the ball would have cleared leg stump by a few inches. “Since there isn’t going to be a result anyway, does anybody else fancy England to bat on until they’re all out, and Cook to have a crack at Lara’s world record score?” wonders Christopher Dale. “At present, he looks more likely to be dismissed by dehydration, fatigue or Act of God than by Pakistan.”

Updated

145th over: England 409-3 (Cook 213, Root 76)

Imran Khan does his thing, and Cook gets another through midwicket, before pushing the final ball of the over down the ground for four. It’s his 17th boundary, meaning that he has actually run 145 of his 213 runs, about 1.8 miles. Which isn’t that far when you think about it.

With the 200 in the bag, Cook starts playing fast and loose – relatively speaking.
With the 200 in the bag, Cook starts playing fast and loose – relatively speaking. Photograph: Jason O'Brien/Reuters

Updated

144th over: England 403-3 (Cook 207, Root 76)

Malik gets the afternoon under way, and Cook nurdles the ball to midwicket for a couple, and then does it again for a single. “You could say that it’s a good pitch because it makes the players work and rewards those who play well,” writes Dom O’Reilly. “England dropped two catches and lost another to a no ball. That’s poor cricket (Did you hear a Barnsley accent in your head when you read that?) Had Bell held on and Broad’s foot held back then Pakistan might well have collapsed and England would fancy themselves to win. In a strange way, better this than those county wickets where mediocre bowlers put the ball in the ‘right areas’ and let the pitch do the work.” Yes, though if you make a pitch that will reward only the most excellent bowling, but a game is played upon it without any most excellent bowlers, then you’re in trouble.

The players are back out!

That’s the spirit!

“There is nothing worse than listening to Cook and Root grind out a tedious accumulation of runs,” writes Nicholas Butt. “Sorry, watching it would be infinitely worse. Any chance of rain to stop this tedium?”

Yes, there’s an outside chance of a brief shower in December.

“It is disastrous for Test cricket if we’re seeing cricket being played on pitches like this,” says Mike Atherton on Sky. I would add the word regularly into that sentence. Once per series I can live with, and in fact enjoy in its way. Besides, might this Test not look very different now had Ian Bell just held on to his catches? Well, slightly different anyway.

Hello world!

Well, it’s a good job that we’ve had an elongated lunch break, as Alastair Cook probably needs a sit-down, having been on the field for every minute* of this hot, steamy Test match so far. His innings has landed a shade over 650 minutes already, his second longest after the 773-minute 294 against India at Edgbaston in 2011, and the fourth-longest in English Test history (with that India innings sandwiched between Len Hutton at the Oval in 1938 and Ken Barrington at Old Trafford in 1964, both against Australia, in the top three). It is Cook’s fifth appearance in the list of England’s all-time 22 longest innings; the only other players who appear more than once are Mike Atherton and Geoff Boycott, who are both there twice (though he’s only got one appearance in the list of England’s 22 longest innings in terms of balls faced, with Wally Hammond appearing three times in that top five).

And, of course, we need every minute of this lengthy lunch to recover from the excitement of it all. Enjoy it while it lasts, though - we restart in 10 minutes.

* There were, to be fair, a few minutes when England were fielding when he was off the field, but it was every so brief, and if he did sit down during these moments it would only have been in order to perform essential bodily functions.

Now it’s over to Simon Burnton, who is absolutely chomping at the bit for this one. Contact him via email on Simon.Burnton@theGuardian.com or tweet @Simon_Burnton.

“It is boring and rather lifeless,” writes the enigmatic, surnameless Ben, “but it’s that lovely fugue state cricket where it could be any time in the last hundred years, watching the runs slowly trickle in from conservative play as the assembled crowd lightly dozes in the morning sun. Quite pleasant really, if it wasn’t a million degrees out there and you could drink beer without a license.”

Lunch - England 400-3, trail by 123 runs

So another session with plenty of runs - 110 of them, to be precise - and no wickets. Of course this was likely to be a draw from the first ball of the Test, so if you were being grumpy then you could say this is all a complete waste of time, but there are much worse ways to waste some time than watching Alastair Cook and Joe Root batting.

An hour for lunch, now. Spend that time well. Simon Burnton will be back to take the first hour or so after the break.

142nd over: England 400-3 (Cook 204, Root 76)
Sorry, I know I promised more, but that was a maiden played out by Root. Sorry.

Slightly different circumstances, but another notch for Cook...

142nd over: England 400-3 (Cook 204, Root 76)
400 up for England, as Root drives for a single. That’s all from the over. Sorry, not much else to report. I’ll write more next over.

141st over: England 398-3 (Cook 204, Root 75)
Malik’s in again, and Cook takes a single, before Sarfraz bellows ‘ONLY ONE!’ from behind the stumps to his fielders as Root sweeps into the deep. Every little helps, fella. Cook, following his run splurge by getting two in one shot in the previous over, follows up with another, this time via a dabbed sweep down to fine leg. Good this from England - really setting a platform for the lower-middle order to come in and score some serious runs.

140th over: England 394-3 (Cook 201, Root 74)
Wahab bounds in once more, like the doughty hound that he is, adorably bowling like this isn’t a complete waste of his time and energy, giving Cook the runs he needs for that 200. Actually, he then gets Root to wave at one outside off - perhaps there’s some life in this pitch yet*!

Meanwhile, bad news from the 10-year-old demographic, from Mark Dexter: “I watched a bit of the game this morning with my 10 yr old daughter, who is learning to love the game having been to few days with me, and always asks for the score when England are playing. Fifteen minutes in and her comment? “This is boring.” If testament were needed that this type of wicket is killing the game then this is it.”

* There absolutely is not.

Double hundred for Alastair Cook!

Brilliant stuff from the England skipper, bringing up his third Test double ton with a flipped couple out to fine leg. A lesson in concentration.

Alastair Cook celebrates after reaching the double century milestone.
Alastair Cook celebrates after reaching the double century milestone. Photograph: Jason O'Brien/Reuters

Updated

139th over: England 391-3 (Cook 198, Root 74)
Another single from Cook, a back-cut that’s half fielded at point, which signals the 100 partnership between England’s best two batsmen. Root helps himself to a couple more, then whacks one between mid-wicket and mid-on, the ball hopping away to the fence. Shoaib Malik is bowling, if that matters at all.

138th over: England 384-3 (Cook 197, Root 68)
Wahab chokes off an appeal, a flirt down the leg side that Cook got nowhere near, but it does persuade Misbah to put a leg slip in. Cook inches closer to his double with a single out to deep mid-wicket from the last ball of that over.

137th over: England 383-3 (Cook 196, Root 68)
Cook takes a single, and as far as I can work out he’s scored only in ones for over an hour - the last multiple from him was a swept four in the 122nd over. I think.

Meanwhile, Graham Foreman writes in with something that, like Vienna, means nothing to me, but some of you might make sense of it: “I write with news of Chris from the Basement (OBOs passim). He’s no longer in the basement, having ascended to the 3rd floor and now sits next to me.

“He has however sustained an injury playing football last night and now has the pronounced limp that his previous moniker deserved.”

136th over: England 382-3 (Cook 195, Root 68)
The batsmen exchange singles, before Root pulls down to fine leg where Shan Masood keeps him to a couple. Then - what a shot! Wahab bangs one in, Root waits until the very last moment before wristily flapping the ball over the slips with a brilliant ramp effort. What a marvellous thing. A couple more singles, and we plod on.

135th over: England 372-3 (Cook 193, Root 60)
Be good if Cook just lost his thread a bit here and went all out attacking, smashing the thing all over the show an...oh, no, wait, there’s a pushed single to point. Root then produces a brief moment of excitement with a slightly ill-advised reverse-sweep from outside leg, which misses the stumps by about six inches but that’s enough to get everyone going for a minute, there.

134th over: England 369-3 (Cook 192, Root 58)
Wahab Riaz has had a rest, if you can really rest in 36 degree heat, and he’s back bowling. Root greets him with a nice drive through the covers, not quite from the meat of the bat and they take a couple. Root dabs a single towards third man, as a collection of home fans gamely continue chanting in the stands.

Meanwhile, some subtle straw manning in the commentary box...

133rd over: England 366-3 (Cook 192, Root 55)
Root cuts a brace in front of third man, after Cook had flicked a single to fine leg. Root is noisily told to return from whence he came next up, settling for a mere single after a cut past extra-cover.

“If we are considering the application of the economic realist theories of the great Hansie Cronje (Over 127),” writes Comrade Robert Wilson, “then surely we must listen to Marx on making the best of flat pitch despondency (from his often misunderstood opium of the people riff):

‘Cricket is the general theory of this world, its encyclopaedic compendium, its logic in popular form, its enthusiasm, its moral sanction, its solemn complement, and its universal basis of consolation and justification. Cricket is the fantastic realization of the human essence since the human essence has not acquired any true reality. The struggle against cricket is, therefore, indirectly the struggle against that world whose spiritual aroma is cricket’.

“Warney’s always quoting that one.”

As an aside, whatever your political persuasions, this is an absolute banger...

132nd over: England 362-3 (Cook 191, Root 52)
Root generously donates the strike to Cook with a single, before Cook pushes another into the covers, running through with a contended smile on his face, as if he’s just settled down with a pot of coffee and the Saturday morning papers.

“Those two grubbers are incredible,” recalls Guy Hornsby, referring to the update in over 125. “I remember Nasser’s one like it was yesterday. I felt so appalled when it happened, like someone had taken my Christmas presents away before I sat down for Turkey and bread sauce. God knows what Nasser felt like. There’s about as much chance of that happening on this pitch as Stokes getting a five-fer with his off spin.”

131st over: England 360-3 (Cook 190, Root 51)
Cook clips a single out through the leg side, then Root, presumably fuming that Cook had faced five balls in that over, retains the strike with a single of his own.

130th over: England 358-3 (Cook 189, Root 50)
Zulfiqar has bowled his legs down to his knees, and gets a rest - Shoaib Malik has the ball, starting with a full-toss that Root clips into the deep for a single, then is immediately cross with himself for not giving that one some proper treatment.

Cook drives for a single of his own, before Root brings up his 50 with a delightful reverse-sweep that skips past some grasping fielders and to the third man fence.

129th over: England 350-3 (Cook 188, Root 43)
Singles ahoy, three of them to be specific, and England get the 350 up with a Root pull out to deep mid-wicket. Which of course means he keeps the strike. Greedy Joe.

128th over: England 347-3 (Cook 187, Root 41)
Zulfiqar sends down a lowish full-toss on Root’s pads, and the Orville-voiced Yorkshireman retrieves the candy from the baby by swatting him just wide of mid-on and to the boundary. He sweeps once with no result, then sweeps again and gains a single. Another full-toss is clipped away by Cook for one (maybe he doesn’t actually want that balls faced record, as mentioned in over 119), before another single from Root ends the over.

Updated

127th over: England 340-3 (Cook 186, Root 35)
And Cook seems relatively happy to allow Root the strike, taking a single off Rahat Ali, who replaces Imran Khan. Root drives pleasantly through the covers for a couple, before once again jealously grasping the strike to his bosom with a single down to third man.

Meanwhile, a lightbulb has popped on over Phil Russell’s head: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if the two sides got together to set up an England run chase in the final 2-and-a-bit sessions? Perhaps England declaring around teatime today, then Pakistan setting 250ish for us to have a go at in about 70 overs. I vaguely remember something similarly sporting happening in a rain-ruined game against South Africa a few years back. South African skipper seemed a lovely bloke too, although there was a bit of fuss about it afterwards, for some reason.”

126th over: England 336-3 (Cook 185, Root 32)
Root has hogged the strike today, rather. By my count he’s faced 61 of the 90 balls bowled so far this morning, including all of that maiden sent down by Zulfiqar.

Updated

125th over: England 336-3 (Cook 185, Root 32)
Root cuts nicely in front of third man, who grudgingly trundles around to field with the enthusiasm of a man just sat down in his favourite chair, before realising he’s left his spectacles upstairs. A couple of balls have sort of kept a bit low, which is something to keep an eye on and one of the few chances the bowlers might have; they’re hardly Carl Hooper to Nasser Hussain style grubbers, but Root keeps the latest example out, before a thick inside-edge brings him a single from the last ball of the over.

124th over: England 333-3 (Cook 185, Root 29)
Everyone has a drink, Cook takes a single, then a refreshed Root celebrates his hydration with a belting sweep for four, in front of mid-wicket. Another one brings the score to a pleasing 333-3, triple Nelson, Graham Gooch and all that.


123rd over: England 327-3 (Cook 184, Root 24)
Lovely drive by Root from a Khan half-volley, not perfectly timed but there’s enough middle on it to ensure the ball reaches the fence. The first four of his knock, that, and he immediately collects the second but in an altogether different manner; Root thinks it’s the same ball as before and plays the same shot, but it’s not quite as full and with a little more in-dip, and Root inside-edges just - just - past the stumps and to the boundary. There’s a big lbw shout next ball, but there was almost as much inside-edge on that one as the ball before. Then that review, and an eventful over comes to a close with a brief moment of vague uncertainty over a single to point, which isn’t taken.

Not out!

He was a long way down the track, and the review shows it was just clipping leg, but umpires call means it stays with the not-out call on the pitch.

Review!

Root comes down the pitch, but is struck on the pads. They think for a while, and finally go upstairs.

122nd over: England 319-3 (Cook 184, Root 16)
Root, not a man who enjoys getting bogged down, has three goes at piercing the covers with some inside-out drives against Zulfiqar, succeeding with the third and taking a single. Zulfiqar then gets one to grip out of the rough and hop up at Cook, disquieting him slightly, but not enough to put him off sweeping the next ball with some oomph for the first boundary of the day.

121st over: England 314-3 (Cook 180, Root 15)
Khan, looking for all the world like Umar Gul after spending about six months in the gym, gets Cook to jab a little unconvincingly outside off, a jab which fortunately for the England skipper doesn’t actually go anywhere near the bat. A maiden, the first of the day.

120th over: England 314-3 (Cook 180, Root 15)
Turns out it was just an end change for Zulfiqar, who trundles in once more. Cook sweeps him for a single, then Root looks just a little bit uncertain in keeping out the rest of the over out, but keep it out he does.

119th over: England 313-3 (Cook 179, Root 15)
A bowling change, as Imran Khan replaces Zulfiqar, and is promptly whipped through square for a couple by Root. Root tries to take a couple of steps down the pitch to a couple of deliveries, but doesn’t have much joy.

Meanwhile, a milestone is coming up for Cook, a milestone that is absolutely absurd given he’s not even 31 yet...

118th over: England 311-3 (Cook 179, Root 13)
Wahab bangs one in, the effort to do which must be akin to pushing a piano up a spiral staircase, but it nearly sort of almost produces a half-chance, Cook pulling round the corner, a ball that lands just in front of leg slip. It hops over the fielder’s grab and they take a single, then Root irks Wahab by pulling away from the crease at the very last moment. The bowler reacts with good humour, with not a hint of a Mervian ‘arsewipe’ sledge, then gets his own back with a jaffa that moves away just enough to beat the outside edge. Big grins all round from both ends of the pitch. A short ball is kept down well by Root who sort of dab-pulls down to fine leg for a single to end the over.

117th over: England 309-3 (Cook 178, Root 12)
Cook sits back and cuts Zulfiqar for a single, before Root reaches outside off to sweep a couple out to deep backward square.

“What’s been disturbing about the growing howls of pain and dismay in the last three days,” writes Robert Wilson, “is that there is not a serious cricket fan who is not inordinately vain about their capacity to endure nuclear-grade boredom. We boast to the French and Americans of our joy in the kind of ennui that could stun a team of oxen. Chris Tavaré would not be an icon in any other sport. A slow pitch and a crawling draw can be a thing of beauty, of course. And we’re all getting more attention-deficit quite clearly. But this has been something else. If the commentariat are so openly mutinous and mocking, it’s a very bad sign. Their entire careers depend on the notion that this stuff is significant. Botham would be honour-bound to chunter about anything but if the measured and in-touch-with-his-melancholy-side Atherton is putting the existential boot in, we’re in trouble.

“That said, if Cook gets 350 or Rashid gets a hat-trick, I’ll say the opposite quite comfortably....”

116th over: England 306-3 (Cook 177, Root 10)
For such a chanceless pitch, Wahab is actually extracting what he can from this. He gets Cook to waft at one a little outside off, which he misses, then a yorker speared in at the toes is just clipped round the corner for a single. Wahab comes around the wicket to Root, who collects a pair of runs with a dab down to third man.

115th over: England 303-3 (Cook 176, Root 8)
Three singles from the over, one that got the fielders briefly excited because Root stepped back a fair way in his crease and for the briefest of seconds it looked like it might have been a leg before chance.

Incidentally, we have slightly different playing hours today, due to Friday prayers, with an extended morning session and lunch break. So, the hours are thus (all times BST):

  • Morning session: 7.00-9.30
  • Lunch: 9.30-10.30
  • Afternoon session: 10.30-12.30
  • Tea: 12.30-12.50
  • Evening session: 12.50-2.20

Updated

114th over: England 300-3 (Cook 174, Root 7)
Wahab’s back, pounding in like the faithful workhorse that he is. Boxer himself would be proud. Cook flaps him off a stiff front pad down to fine leg for a single, Root dabs one past point, then a drop! Wahab gets one to tail in slightly at Cook, he jabs at it rather and it goes low to Ahmed’s right, but he grasses the diving catch. A tricky one, but a catch that should’ve been taken, and that’s the second time they’ve dropped Cook. To add insult etc, they take a single, bringing up England’s 300.

113th over: England 297-3 (Cook 172, Root 6)
England look fairly busy this morning. Cook and Root exchange singles, the latter taking a half skip down the track to do so, before the skipper turns one through square-leg for another.

112th over: England 294-3 (Cook 170, Root 5)
Wahab Riaz starts with a yorker, then has a shout for lbw against Cook, but that was heading way down leg. Another one on Cook’s pads is flicked fairly stiffly away for a single. Root then gets away for the day, opening the face and running a ball past point for a couple.

Meanwhile, this is a wonderful mail from Tony Whitley:

“Hi Nick. “ is he the only one?” you ask ( 06.38). I have been reluctant to mail you over the last couple of days as I did not want to sound pretentious or too goody goody purist but the simple fact is that when I very first started watching cricket in the 40s in East Yorkshire I was told to watch each ball as an individual sporting moment. Whatever the state of the game, the way each ball was bowled and the way it was addressed by the batter and the field should be judged on its own merits. The state of the game can add immensely ( or detract from) to the significance of any period of play but nevertheless, each ball is different and can be appreciated as such. This is one of the subtle wonders and the greatnesses of cricket and the reason it can never be boring. So, may I say, he is not the only one.”

Updated

111th over: England 291-3 (Cook 169, Root 3)
Zulfiqar starts for Pakistan, bowling to Cook who sweeps the fourth ball of the over out to deep backward square for a single. Which is all for the over.

Updated

But over in Abu Dhabi, the players are out, and cricket is happening.

Meanwhile, over in Australia, Steve Smith has just scored another century, for New South Wales in the one-day Matador Cup. His scores this season have been 143*, 72, 0, 0, 101*.

Mushtaq Ahmed has just said it’s a ‘funny old game.’ He’s right, Saint.

Recommended listening: Kevin Pietersen spoke to Eleanor Oldroyd on the wireless yesterday about batting, and it was excellent. Listen here, if you haven’t already.

His book is out next week, ghosted by the Guardian’s Daniel Harris. A couple of marks of quality right there.

Still, shame about this...

Tom Gucht has been reading the runes: “Statistically speaking, there’s a lot riding in today’s play. Root and Cook are both battling out for who’s scored the most runs in 2015 whilst Broad and Anderson are gunning for the most wickets, interestingly with the same average: 25.17 runs per wicket. As a slightly superstitious person, I’ve possibly read too much into this and have used their figures as divine stable intervention into tonight’s Euro Millions and I’m about to head out and buy myself a ticket.”

“Am I the only one who has a huge soft spot for Tests like these?” asks Ian Forth. “Surely this is quintessential Test cricket. I can go and do something else when the opposition are batting, knowing nothing’s going to happen. Then crash onto the sofa, surround myself with remote controls, Toblerone, bantering texts, flavoured milk and arrange for Toby, my cocker spaniel, to be within head patting distance and drift into a happy semi-waking dream where England calmly glance and cut their way to arbitrary records and milestones. It’s Brisbane 2010 all over again (but with less schadenfreude). What’s not to like?”

Well - is he the only one?

Preamble

So, who’s up for another day of watching batsmen score runs and bowlers wonder about the choices they’ve made in their lives that has led them to running up and down in the middle of the desert with barely any hope of taking any wickets?!?!??!?! You are? Great!

If it’s a relatively demoralising business watching this stuff, imagine what playing it must be like. Whether there’s much that can be done about it is unclear, but having a pitch for a Test match, theoretically the toughest test for both main facets of the game, is a little like bricking up half a football goal, or stretching clingfilm across the tryline on a rugby field. To give such an advantage to one half of the players renders the game basically pointless, and at the moment it looks like the only way of taking wickets is for the batsman to do something a bit daft. And given the men at the crease, Alastair Cook and Joe Root, do not generally have much form for daftness (unless you count Root giggling uncontrollably at Cook discussing Stuart Broad’s ‘length’ after the Ashes were won in the summer), then these Pakistani bowlers could be in for another long day.

That Cook, who resumes on 168, spoke relatively openly about beating his current Test best score of 294 after play yesterday indicates exactly what the players think of this track; this is the roadest of roads, a run buffet that only the foolish or the careless will not fill their boots on. He’s not so much aiming for a daddy hundred as a Grandaddy hundred...

...or a Big Daddy hundred...

Cue a clatter of wickets in the first hour and an England collapse for the ages. At least that wouldn’t feel quite so futile.

Start of play: 7am BST.

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