End of the line, terminus approaching. Australia may have dodged what looked like an inevitable flattening in Dubai, but met the full brunt of a collision on the second day in Abu Dhabi, bowled out for 145.
The only unlikely thing was that it did not happen at high velocity. The bus in the 1994 Keanu Reeves classic Speed was not allowed to drop below 50mph; the Abbas in this match can’t get above 80. But that has not slowed Mohammad Abbas down a bit in a career that has so far yielded 54 wickets halfway through his 10th Test. A bowling average of 15.94 is currently fourth of all time, behind three blokes who did their trundling on the goat-tracks of the 1880s.
His figures of five for 33 were the best of his career, and it only highlights his consistency that his haul has not involved any huge bags.
There was nothing unplayable about the flat Dubai surface where he prised out seven wickets with accuracy and a hint of reverse swing. In Abu Dhabi it was a hint of grass cover that allowed Abbas to extract seam movement, though it was still a surface where batsmen could prosper.
Australia handled him poorly. He had already dismissed Usman Khawaja and the nightwatchman Peter Siddle late on the first day to leave Australia on 20 for two, then returned on the second morning to work over the next in line. Each ball nagged and worried the batsmen like the thoughts that run through your head at 2:20am, asking questions you cannot quite answer.
It was the kind of spell to make you hunker down, to let the ball come to you and play softly. But left-handers Shaun Marsh (3) and Travis Head (14) both went hard at defensive shots, bats in front of pads, meaning their edges carried to the slip cordon – hardly a certainty in this part of the world.
“Mohammad Abbas is an absolute gun,” marvelled former Australia batsman Michael Hussey on the Wisden Test Cricket radio feed. “He just keeps putting the ball in the right area, asking the questions. What a player Abbas has been.”
Of course, he has not been that player at Test level for long. He made his debut last year at the age of 27, yet another from the Pakistan conveyor belt of mature-age talent that has produced gems like the leg-spinner Yasir Shah. But he is making the most of his time now.
Aaron Finch started the day briskly with three confident boundaries, but Abbas worked him over with deliveries that jagged back into him off the seam and left him worried about a leg-before dismissal. This combined with the score slipping to 56 for four forced Finch back into his shell.
Through Abbas, Pakistan were bossing the game. Across his last five Tests, Marsh has two ducks, six scores in single figures, and an average of nine with the bat. His brother Mitchell has two ducks, five single-figure scores, and an average of 11.
This time, Mitchell got set before jabbing with hard hands at Yasir for another slip catch. Then in a bowling change before lunch, off-spinner Bilal Asif got Finch to turn a catch to short leg for 39, then trapped Paine for three as the Australian captain went back on his stumps to nudge square.
The session carnage was five for 71 on a surface that would be best for batting when the sun had dried it out after lunch. Marnus Labuschagne and Mitchell Starc proved that briefly with a bright 37-run stand that was the highest of the innings.
But if Abbas was keeping the top order awake all night, Labuschagne was the batsman who went to sleep. Starc hit a crisp defensive shot, and Yasir must have already seen something in the way the non-striker was backing up, because the bowler just lowered his hand to let the ball flick his middle finger.
Labuschagne, feet well out of his ground, watched the ball get deflected, stood still, and actually turned his head to watch it roll back on to his stumps. His bat, while well back over the line, wafted just above the ground the whole time. There was barely an appeal, and a perfunctory request from umpire Richard Illingworth for a TV replay, but the vision showed the batsman was out.
It summed up a dozy performance. Starc whacked a couple of sixes but was last out for 34. The fight to keep Pakistan to 282 on the first day was wasted, with the home side batting again barely halfway through the second day. They started their second innings with a healthy lead of 137.
Fakhar Zaman clattered a further 66 to go with his first innings 94, the only Pakistani to make twin 50s on debut, while Azhar Ali was 54 not out at stumps. Haris Sohail should have made a king pair after his first-ball duck in the first innings, but his edge deflected off Paine over slip, and Sohail survived to end the day unbeaten on 17.
For the cost of two wickets Pakistan had made 144, one run less than the whole Australian team. The lead at stumps was 281. After all their resistance in the first Test, and all the excitement to begin the second, the Australian team had ended up on their backs in the high street, breathless in the dust. Abbas was last seen heading up to the roundabout to turn back for a second charge.
