Piyanan "Pi" Kaensuwan and her partner Nutthaphat "Muu" Junpong are practitioners of all things BDSM (for those not in the know, that's sadism and masochism, bondage and discipline or dominance and submission) and are behind the Shibari Night BKK events that used to take place in the now-closed Maison Close. Representing themselves as a dominant cat and a submissive dog, they also manage the Facebook group Thailand BDSM: "Let's Play and Learn", where they hope to provide information for newcomers and veterans on erotic role-playing practices. The pair, along with figures in the shibari (rope bondage) and BDSM scene, recently hosted the very first BDSM Art Fest at De Commune. The event served as an introduction to the BDSM lifestyle and as a platform for education and to destigmatise the practice.
Why do you perform BDSM?
At first it was just another exciting sex experience for us. But we realised that it was more than just fun, kinky stuff. It's more intimate and when we connect through the BDSM scene we felt like it's another world, the pain is the same but the feeling just blows my mind. After being a part of the scene, we feel more relaxed. The 'aftercare' in BDSM helps us communicate what is good, what is bad, which people don't normally do when they have vanilla sex. For me, more pain is better, I can scream and cry as much as I want. For the dominant side (my partner), their way of dealing with pain or making me scream or moan is a way for them to relieve themselves, too. For subs like me, they don't have to hide who they really are and what they really feel. In Thai society, you have to be shy, kind and gentle while sometimes they aren't in reality; people want to be bad or naughty. All the pressure from society, perception and family forces them into something they are not and the BDSM scene helps them.
What is BDSM to you and why is it so important?
It's a way to express myself and to reduce stress. It helps me to cope and heal me mentally. I rely on pain to reduce stress.
Why did you decide to create a group on Facebook?
I have people come to me or ask me questions on my personal Facebook on a daily basis about BDSM. More often than not, they ask the same questions. I thought it was better to create content about this lifestyle on a page or a platform where people can find and read the information.
What difficulties have you faced in discussing BDSM on an open platform?
At first it was scary to talk about in public, so we created Facebook accounts to find friends with the same lifestyle and to post photos from our sessions, which is quite risky as Thai culture is conservative. We also wanted to leave our families out of this BDSM discussion because when you act different or live in a different lifestyle from the norm, people start to think that you might have some mental issues and needed to be cured. Mental issues is an illness, you can't choose to be ill. Leading a BDSM lifestyle is your choice. People need to have a healthy BDSM lifestyle and so I overcame my fear of being a 'psychopath' to my friends and family. I posted my BDSM page on my real Facebook account and said that if there's anyone who's interested or has doubts about BDSM, they can come straight to me. After that, a few friends said they were accepting of my lifestyle and asked about toys, shibari and other kinky stuff. For those who don't understand, they just ignore it and keep quiet, which I'm OK with. My brother and cousins know about it and say nothing, so that's quite fine for me.
Why host the BDSM Art Fest?
I want to build an understanding and raise awareness of this lifestyle for people who are still new to it. I know it's hard for Thais to understand that the people who follow the BDSM lifestyle are not psychos or crazy. It's hard to simply say you're not either one. Maybe if the practice is combined with art it may be easier to understand and make them look at it as an art form, something that's beautiful and full of emotion.
How do people view BDSM in Thailand?
It's still scary for vanilla people. For those who like it, it's still scary. They don't want to be looked down on and make people think that they are crazy. So they hide it. Maybe it's easier for some where their friends and family can understand them but not everyone. Our Facebook group can be difficult to manage as the pictures we post are often risqué and we get reported. That's why you see that our content includes hand-drawn illustrations by me to show that there is a fun and light side to BDSM.
What would you tell a newcomer if they are interested in practicing?
I would tell them to be brave. To step out and find someone in their life, friends or family, that they can talk to and say that 'I like it'. Maybe just bit-by-bit at first, but it would enable them to express themselves and would not feel the need to hide it anymore.
What would you like to see in the future for the BDSM community?
I would like to own a dungeon. A place where people can share their passion for this activity. I hope that society can be more understanding and accepting of people in this lifestyle. I want to expand, to have newcomers understand the community well. Many take part it in without fully understanding it and end up harming themselves. I want this to be a platform for information and education.
You can catch both Pi and Muu at their next event at Margarita Storm in Sukhumvit 33 for their Shibari Show on Jun 22 where they will invite rope bondage artist Rigger Rosy from Shanghai. For more information and updates, visit www.fb.com/ThailandBDSMV1.
