I’ve always found practical jokers to be tragic Billy No-Mates figures screaming for attention.
Annoying berks who think that spouting sitcom catchphrases makes them characters, sticking the word “meister” on the end of surnames passes as wit, and the height of ingenuity is a prank phone call. A bit like those two Russians who rang ministers Ben Wallace, Priti Patel and Nadine Dorries.
But the Putin stooges met their match. I hear after a minute of listening to Dorries they hung up thinking they were being hoaxed by someone pretending to be an MP. It makes you proud to be British.
It also makes you wonder how anyone believes they could hoax members of a government told to bluff whenever their mouth opens, as witnessed in the Chancellor’s Spring Budget statement which felt more like The Great British Cock ’n’ Bull Swindle.
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Here was Rishi Sunak claiming we’re ALL about to feel the pinch when as a multi-millionaire married to a billionaire, he clearly isn’t. He said he was putting “billions back into the pockets of people” when he’s making us pay the highest tax rates since 1949 while suffering the biggest cost-of- living crisis since rationing in the early 1950s. A fact confirmed when economists calculated a worker on the average annual wage of £27,000 will be £360 worse off. Pure bull, and he knows it.
The decision to let energy firms escape a windfall tax on their gargantuan profits was a cruel and calculated decision by this Tory government to force low income households to choose between food and heat. Yet still they lie about levelling up being their top priority.
Their latest con is to claim our current problems are all down to Ukraine, when in reality, the economy was sliding down the pan way before the invasion due to their incompetence and nepotism.
Their latest slogan is “our work begins now” which makes it sound like Labour has just left office after saddling the country with a crippling debt, when Gordon Brown moved out 12 years ago. They tell us they detest how obscenely P&O has treated its workers, yet they voted against scrapping Fire and Rehire and signed off the legislation that allowed the Dubai-owned firm to sack 800 employees over Zoom.
They tell us they’ve done more for refugees than any other country, then make it a criminal offence for desperate Ukrainian families to arrive in the UK without the right papers.
Like David Cameron posting photos of himself volunteering at a foodbank, to make it look like poverty is close to his heart, when foodbank use went up 2,612% during his time as PM. There seems no limit to their capacity to insult our intelligence.
A telling video emerged on Thursday of the NATO meeting in Brussels. As world leaders warmly greeted each
other, Boris Johnson stood unloved and alone, like Billy No-Mates.
Further proof that the world’s politicians have discovered through painful experience that the oligarch-enabler and his ministers are just two-bit hustlers. Which is why they choose to give the British the cold shoulder.
My grandad used to have a saying about people he found shady: “They’re kidding the goolies off you.”
Labour should adopt that slogan for the May elections, because the overtaxed penny is surely now dropping with even the most gullible about how badly they’ve been conned.
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