Why can’t old dogs learn new tricks?
Because an old dog is experienced enough to know that every new trick is essentially the same old trick from yesterday.
Sunil Bajaria, Bromley, UK
• Because they, like the rest of us, are creatures of habit.
Philip Stigger, Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada
• Along with ageing bodies, they have finally worked out the futility of performing for humans.
John Benseman, Auckland, New Zealand
• Maybe they can – but when sitting up and begging brings adequate rewards, why would they bother?
Joan Dawson, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
• We know them all.
Pat Phillips, Adelaide, South Australia
• Because they bark up the wrong tree.
Greg McCarry, Sydney, Australia
• I knew, but it’s slipped my mind.
Adrian Cooper, Queens Park, NSW, Australia
• Because their greedy masters outsourced the refresher obedience training course.
David Tulanian, Los Angeles, California, US
• It’s planned obsolescence.
Mathias Berge, Canberra, ACT, Australia
• Because they are too hung up on the old ones.
R De Braganza, Kilifi, Kenya
It’s time for a nice lie down
At what point do you know you are middle-aged?
When you mistook her double take for a roving eye.
David Tucker, Halle, Germany
• When the midriff insists on expanding and will not be denied.
Margaret Wyeth, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
• You know you are middle-aged when your children insist on being treated as adults, and your parents need to be treated as children!
Maureen Heath, Winchester, UK
• When you have to remove your glasses to see better.
Judy Wild, Etna, New Hampshire, US
• When you ask for some DIY equipment for your birthday instead of some outdoor sports equipment.
Margaret Wilkes, Perth, Western Australia
• At precisely that point where your avoirdupois puts restrictions on your joie de vivre.
Noel Bird, Boreen Point, Queensland, Australia
• When you feel half-dead.
Edward P Wolfers, Austinmer, NSW, Australia
• When you start reading a biography and begin at the age you are now.
Geraldine Dodgson, Pauanui, New Zealand
• When you start seeing sex as an opportunity to have a nice lie down.
Malcolm Shuttleworth, Odenthal, Germany
• When sports aches and pains make you consider stopping.
Edward Black, Church Point, NSW, Australia
• When thick toenails get tough to reach.
Charlie Bamforth, Davis, California, US
• When you are past it!
Avril Taylor, Dundas, Ontario, Canada
• At the point of no return.
Jennifer Horat, Lengwil, Switzerland
Any answers?
Just what distinguishes an outlaw from a scofflaw?
R M Fransson, Wheat Ridge, Colorado, US
Why do so many politicians find it necessary to lie to their electorates?
Derek Malpass, Hohenthann, Germany
Send answers to weekly.nandq@theguardian.com or Guardian Weekly, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU, UK
