Oscars fashion: how to do off-piste

Is there any sight more glorious than the magnificent Tilda Swinton in Oscar-winning mode? This drapey Lanvin creation looks better on her than it does on the catwalk. Tilda is into boxy tailoring, avant-garde draping, menage a trois, clear mascara and hair clippers and she's not afraid of no one or nothin'. She marches about in futuristic Haider Ackermann, ultra-minimal Jil Sander, and bonkers Viktor & Rolf while others waft winsomely in Marchesa, Vera Wang and Cavalli. In short, she is God (2008) Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Hi, I'm the actress Maggie Gyllenhaal, remember me? I was queen of the kooks back in the early noughties and then I went a bit mumsy and weird, I kind of lost interest in fashion and kept forgetting to brush my hair. But look, here's me in 2010, doing what I do best, something different, on the red carpet. The dress is by Dries Van Noten who is a cool and interesting choice for the Oscars, it's slinky, it's weird in a good way and I've put my hair up. I think I'll keep this up now (2010) Photograph: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Drew Barrymore in 1998, the year that Hole's Celebrity Skin album came out and Courtney 'n' Drew were still, like, totally hanging out, doing the riot grrrl thing, plucking their eyebrows to nothing and wearing petticoats to parties. In Oscar terms, it was also the year that Gwynnie won. I like to think that while Paltrow was up there, weeping her thanks in her big pink frock, Drew was chuffing on a a rollie in the toilets, adjusting her hair daisies and just taking it all in her stride. Cool as (1998) Photograph: BEI/Features

An epic look from Liza Minnelli as she picks up her best actress Oscar for Cabaret. I love that she chose the brightest, almost offensively loud shade of yellow known to man. I love that said dress (which is floor length) is teamed with both a matching jacket and matching yellow platforms, meaning the yellowness is almost eyeball-puncturing in its size and scope. Normally, all this matching would be illegal but this is Liza! She can match anything she damn well wants to (1972) Photograph: Bettmann/Corbis

How is this good, you may ask? Well, this is good because Helena Bonham Carter is inside it. Yes, it is a velvet puffball, with a netty underskirt, a ribbon sash and an embellished chiffon top but we are praising Helena precisely because she just doesn't care. She couldn't give a stuff what we write about her love of fingerless goth-gloves, fishnets or lack of hairbrush or the fact that she and Tim Burton live in next-door houses and that's a bit weird, she just keeps on being HB-C like a total legend (1987) Photograph: Ron Galella/WireImage

Cher is one of those red carpet giants we wouldn't be without. Here is another example of when a celeb's ability to really be themselves at the Oscars ultimately leaves us admiring their bravery (oh shut up, it totally does). This was the beginning of Cher not wearing clothes to gala events, which lasted until ... ok, it's still going. Yay. This look is kind of beachy, kind of tropical - in fact, is actually just a sarong/ bikini with some gigantic head flower? Look, it was the 70s. If you remember it you weren't there – or something (1974) Photograph: Ron Galella/WireImage

This is Joan Crawford, receiving her Oscar from her bed. Yes, she is wearing a big gauzy dressing gown and presumably a nightie underneath. Does it get anymore off-piste than that? I don't think so. According to legend, Joanie couldn't face being at the Oscars and losing so she pretended to be ill with flu. When she won, she staged this hilarious sick bed photoshoot in which she somehow contrived to be in full makeup, with perfect manicure and hair and her signature shoulder pads. I can almost hear Bette Davis gnashing her teeth. Genius (1946) Photograph: Everett Collection/Rex Feature

There was no guarantee that Florence Welch's ethereal/floaty/I've just raided the Victorian/Stevie Nicks dress-up hamper on-stage styling would ever translate to a red carpet, but this example of winning Oscar off-piste style shows it ain't always about the strapless satin column and the chignon-with-tendrils. Sometimes, in fact, it's about a romantic Valentino creation that reminds us of the Virgin Suicides and looks ever so slightly like a very nice pudding. Done (2011) Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage