Let’s finish up with a clip of Parasite winning best picture, and how the crowd reacted when the lights were cut. I think these might have been my favourite Oscars for years and years, you know.
#Oscars Moment: @ParasiteMovie wins for Best Picture. pic.twitter.com/AokyBdIzl5
— The Academy (@TheAcademy) February 10, 2020
We’ve got a great Phil Hoad piece here about what Parasite’s win could mean for the future of the Oscars. Spoiler: good things.
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And here’s a clip of the front row reacting when the Oscars prematurely cut Parasite’s lights.
Our favorite stars cheer to keep the lights on so the Parasite producers can finish their speeches. #Oscars pic.twitter.com/Q1SXvAL1c9
— Ardit Luciano (@Ardit_Luciano) February 10, 2020
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Would anybody like to see the cast of Parasite jumping in slow motion?
Parasite Cast at the #Oscars Red Carpet pic.twitter.com/ZFTaNsdNap
— Oscars 2020 (@TheAwards2020) February 10, 2020
Another interesting statistic, for you. Bong Joon-ho is the new Disney.
The only other person to win 4 #Oscars in one night was Walt Disney back in 1953.
— Mark S. Luckie (@marksluckie) February 10, 2020
Bong Joon Ho and #Parasite have made history! pic.twitter.com/nQu5RO1qH7
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Here’s the news piece on Parasite.
And now the lights have gone down for good. The 92nd Oscars are over, and they have ended in the best possible way. This is Parasite’s night. It’s Bong Joon-ho’s night. It is, to a slightly lesser extent, Eminem’s night. I’ll be sticking around for a little bit looking for reaction to the night, but I wouldn’t blame you at all for ducking out. Thanks for keeping me company tonight. How metaphorical.
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They turned the lights out on the winners. Outrage rang out in the auditorium, and they forced the lights back up for more speeches. This is one turn-up after another.
PARASITE WINS BEST PICTURE!
Well. What an amazing sweep. The most Oscars won tonight. The first film not in the English language to ever win best picture. Nobody on stage can believe it. The best film of the year won. This is stunning.
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Jane Fonda is here to present best picture, the final award of the night. If Parasite wins this, it’ll be very exciting.
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And, as if by magic, here’s the news story on the Zellweger win.
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And now, having mentioned every single member of the entire human race, dead or alive, by name, Zellweger can finally relax. Next year someone else will play a famous person in a film and win, and the wheel will turn on.
RENEE ZELLWEGER WINS BEST ACTRESS
Zellweger thanks her fellow nominees, and then seemingly every single person she has ever met in her entire life, and then Martin Scorsese and Bob Dylan and Neil Armstrong, and then people who wear uniforms, and then everyone else.
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And now for the best actress montage, which will last for ever.
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And here’s the news story about Phoenix’s win.
JOAQUIN PHOENIX WINS BEST ACTOR
And he uses his platform to make A Speech About Things. Today it is the environment and industrialised farming. But we’re clever, he says, so we can change things. He ends the speech by remembering his brother, and gets sincerely choked up. It’s a moment, for sure.
I didn’t account for the montages. So many montages. These Oscars will never be done.
Olivia Colman steps up to present best actor. She is doing it in a very Olivia Colmanish way, so everyone’s a winner.
Here’s the news story about Bong Joon-ho’s best director victory.
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Now for the In Memoriam segment, as introduced by Steven Spielberg. Billie Eilish is singing Yesterday, by the way.
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Bong Joon-ho thanks Martin Scorsese, who gets a standing ovation of his own. He’s thanking Quentin Tarantino, too, and Sam Mendes and Todd Phillips. And, again, he promises to drink.
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Bong Joon-ho wins best director. That’s remarkable. This is his night, isn’t it? He looks absolutely staggered.
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Here’s Spike Lee to announce the best director winner.
Oh, they won’t.
Elton John and Bernie Taupin win best original song. “This doesn’t suck,” says Taupin, who proceeds to do most of the talking. And then Elton takes over. Surely they won’t play him off. Will they?
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Joker wins best score. And that’s no surprise, since Hildur Guðnadóttir has been spoken of as an almost real-time collaborator since before the film even came out. She seems like the least Jokerish person ever to walk the Earth, too, which only makes her achievement more remarkable.
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Here’s Taika Waititi to talk about honorary awards. And not even he can liven up this thankless dog of a segment. But here’s Sigourney Weaver, Gal Gadot and Brie Larson to announce a fight club. They also say, “All women are superheroes”, which is factually incorrect but whatever.
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Here’s a story about Parasite’s latest win.
And now for Elton John’s performance. It’s very much a late-era Elton John performance, in that he’s shouting in such a way that I’m not really able to tell you exactly how it goes. It’s no Eminem. And Eminem was no Ray Romano.
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Parasite wins best international feature. Bong Joon-ho receives a standing ovation. He makes his film’s cast and crew stand up. This might be the last award that Parasite wins, and he knows it. “I’m ready to drink,” he says in English.
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Now for the category entitled best international feature named Parasite. Who’ll win? Nobody knows.
Sama from For Sama has been one of the highlights of awards season. She started to slap the podium during the Baftas and tonight? Tonight she’s hiding under a table.
The adorable Sama from “For Sama” is very tired and hiding under this tablecloth. Her mom director Waad al-Kateab’s dress says “we dared to dream and we will not regret dignity” in Arabic. pic.twitter.com/tIV7VxPNOF
— Julia Wick (@sherlyholmes) February 10, 2020
Bombshell wins best makeup and hair. Kazu Hiro thanked Charlize Theron, and then one of his colleagues stepped up to the microphone, but they turned all the lights off and Charlize Theron looked really sad. What a rollercoaster.
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Ray Romano and Sandra Oh are here now, to present best hair and makeup. And Ray Romano said the F-word. Not even Eminem did that. Ray Romano is the new Eminem.
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1917 wins best visual effects. Does this mean it’s going to win best picture? Because if it does, could we just hand it out now and be done with it?
Oh, they’re dressed as Cats. And they’re making jokes about the importance of visual effects. Pretty good.
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Now for Rebel Wilson and James Corden who’d BETTER MAKE SOME CATS JOKES.
Meanwhile, Cynthia Erivo is performing Stand Up. It’s possibly the best performance of the night so far, but where are the cutaways of Brie Larson biting her lip and nodding her head? Nowhere, and that is why this song must not win.
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A whole room of people reacting to Eminem. I might stop following the Oscars and just embed these for the next two hours.
Eminem has the Oscars crowd going BANANAS pic.twitter.com/31jEwzKQvv
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) February 10, 2020
And now here’s the academy president to punch the wind out of everyone’s sails. This is usually the bit where we all get told off for pirating films. But instead we get Tom Hanks talking about a museum. And that’s better, I think.
Ford v Ferrari wins best editing. There was talk earlier that Parasite winning this category would mean it would win best picture. But it hasn’t, so now maybe it won’t. Anyway, these two winners seem nice and happy.
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1917 wins best cinematography. And that means that Roger Deakins wins, and this is the most thoroughly well deserved award. Roger Deakins might be the nicest, most normal person working in film. He’s thanking his entire team – grips, gaffers, focus pullers – who don’t usually get any love at shows like this. He’s just a tremendous person.
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Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are now pretending that they don’t know what a cinematographer is.
Oh no, what’s happening now. A man I don’t recognise is now recapping the entire ceremony utilising the medium of rap. I just checked, and I don’t have a sphincter any more. It just straight-up disappeared all the way into my body. How am I supposed to poo now? The Oscars have prevented me from ever pooing again.
Martin Scorsese reacts to Eminem. Just open my veins and pour this stuff into my heart.
Martin Scorsese reacts to Eminem's "Lose Yourself" performance #Oscars pic.twitter.com/ic1XeJPmSf
— MTV NEWS (@MTVNEWS) February 10, 2020
Another Eminem reaction …
This women reacting to Eminem is the moment of The Oscars 🤣#Oscars pic.twitter.com/W1B5RCAmly
— Matty (@Matty41534347) February 10, 2020
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For reference for anyone not watching along, this is the face that Hollywood stars pull when they’re dancing to Eminem. Imagine this a thousand times over.
… mom’s ….. spaghetti …. ? pic.twitter.com/7kMn8gGIWq
— alyssa bereznak (@alyssabereznak) February 10, 2020
Now Randy Newman is singing that song from Toy Story 4. There are many, many fewer funny cutaways to this than there were when Eminem sang.
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1917 wins best sound mixing. It might not be the only Oscar that 1917 wins tonight, but this might be one of the only incontestable categories.
Ford v Ferrari wins best sound editing. So at least your dad will come away from this happy now. Donald Sylvester points out that this will probably be the last Oscar-winning film by 20th Century Fox, which is a weirdly sobering thought.
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To commemorate songs being in films, Eminem is now on stage singing that song of his about losing yourself. It’s fine but – my God! – the cutaways of white people in the audience awkwardly bobbing their head is something else. It looks like they’re all collectively trying to locate a specific dust speck. The memes this will inspire …
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Eminem got a standing ovation from the audience, who are well aware that their faces will now forever come up if anyone ever Googles the phrase “Awkward white person biting lip and nodding GIFs”.
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You know that bit where Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig sang about clothes? Here is video of them singing about clothes.
Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig are having the most fun humanly possible. https://t.co/8kz7m5vtnF #Oscars pic.twitter.com/B01ZABKPKB
— ABC News (@ABC) February 10, 2020
Lin-Manuel Miranda is up to present a montage about films that have songs in them, which I think is probably all songs. If you need a wee, you’ve probably got a good long time to go right now.
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And just like that, here’s a news story on the thing that happened 10 seconds ago. Laura Dern wins best supporting actress.
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LAURA DERN WINS BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Of course she does. Everyone loves Laura Dern. She goes a bit wonky, by sort of drawing a line between Marriage Story (a film about two rich people flying from New York to Los Angeles and back over and over again) and environmentalism, but it’s hard to deny her this moment. Dern is second only to Brad Pitt when it comes to internet sweethearts, and her win is well deserved.
Mahershala Ali is here to present best supporting actress. Which means he’s here to introduce a montage that will never end. Make yourselves comfortable, folks.
And Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl) wins best documentary short. The heat is on now. The last guys were played off, and now a blueprint has been set. They’re talking about the importance of teachers. And yet they make it out unscathed. What a soft touch.
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American Factory wins best documentary feature. The winners very graciously single out their fellow nominees, before talking about their film and the importance of unions. And, just like that, they’re played off. The first one of the night! It took over an hour. The Oscars are getting lax.
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Now for best documentary feature. Mark Ruffalo (who introduces his own damn self) points out how many of the nominated films were directed or co-directed by woman. He’s a very well chosen pick to introduce this category.
And now Chrissy Metz is on stage singing I’m Standing With You, a song that will absolutely not win best original song and probably wouldn’t if it was the only nominated song. It sounds a bit like it was written by an algorithm called Vaguely Inspirational Things to Sing to Strangers at a Bus Stop.
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Little Women wins best costume design. Jacqueline Durran keeps it brief, which is a type of clothes. See? I can make clothes puns, too.
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Rudolph and Wiig sing a medley of songs about clothes. That sounded dry, but it was OK. Watch it on YouTube tomorrow. Go to bed now and watch it on YouTube tomorrow.
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood wins best production design. Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh both have an excellent eye for statement necklaces and their speech was over in the time it took me to write that.
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Oh, they’re not really angry. They’re pretending, because they’re acting. And all this to announce the production design award.
Here come Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig. They’re pretending to be angry about something. While I wait to see what they’re angry about, it’s worth pointing out that Kristen Wiig is dressed as a kind of blood Viennetta.
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If a foreign-language film like Parasite can win best original screenplay, then does it mean it could win best picture? Wouldn’t that be amazing? Should we all pin our hopes on that happening? Should we? I vote yes.
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The Neighbors’ Window wins best live action short. Marshall Curry dedicates his award to storytellers in general, and that’s about it.
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Jojo Rabbit wins best adapted screenplay. Taika Waititi seems genuinely overwhelmed by the win. Usually completely smooth at this sort thing, his voice is shaking. But what a one-two! I think the Oscars just got interesting.
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Bong Joon Ho flits between Korean and English in a speech that he was probably not expecting to make. They all look stunned. What a brilliant win.
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Parasite wins best original screenplay. And this is tremendous. What an achievement. The best film actually won.
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Here come the Oscars for writing. Kelly Marie Tran introduces Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves, who sort of free associate for an hour and a half. Best original screenplay first.
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Here is Hair Love, by the way, in case you need something to help you through all these interminable ad breaks.
#HairLove is live! It’s an animated short film about an African American father learning how to do his daughters hair for the first time. Written & Directed by me, co-directed by @BruceAlmighteee @Mr_Scribbles & stars @IssaRae. @SonyAnimation #HairLove pic.twitter.com/RRlh2Ncol1
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) December 5, 2019
The song is over. During the commercial break all the Elsas must fight each other with sharpened sticks to see who is the one true Elsa. It’s a shame to be missing it, really, but commerce is commerce.
The song is performed in Japanese, Polish, Thai, Castilian, German, Norwegian, Russian, Spanish and Danish. It is exactly – and I mean exactly – like a half-time Eurovision performance. I won’t tell you whether that’s a good or bad thing, though.
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Josh Gad comes on now (nobody introduces him) to introduce Idina Menzel and apparently everyone who has ever starred in any international version of Frozen for a performance of Into the Unknown from Frozen 2.
Hair Love wins best animated short. They make a nice point about representation in animation, and it goes on slightly too long but they’re not played off. This could be a dangerous precedent.
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Toy Story 4 wins best animated feature. Which is probably the film you’d pick if you hadn’t seen any of the others. The winners thank everyone they can as quickly as they can, because of all the time lost getting a presenter to introduce another presenter.
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Now for best animated feature. Beanie Feldstein just introduced Mindy Kaling. Is that how this is going to work without a host? A person announces a person who announces a winner? That seems like at least one step too many.
We already have a news story about Brad Pitt winning. Not that anyone was expecting it or anything.
BRAD PITT WINS BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
And here comes the finely honed speech. There’s a joke about John Bolton, and then a call for stunt performers to be recognised by the academy. Lots of sincerity, but no jokes. 6/10 speech.
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“How are they going to make up the time lost from not having a host?” you’re asking. The answer is “incredibly long montages that take place before the nominations are announced”. It’s going to be a long night.
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Regina King is up next, presenting best supporting actor. Her speech is her just listing supporting actors she likes, which seems like a fairly novel way to postpone the foregone conclusion we’re all expecting.
That’s it from the red carpet. Flash trends: metallic Jessica Rabbit dressing, as seen on ScarJo. Power sleeves. A soupçon of sustainability. There were serious fashion statements, from Spike Lee and Nathalie Portman, and a pair of alarming pockets. Till next year!
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Steve Martin and Chris Rock are up next, not really hosting (although they have both hosted before), but doing a vaguely monologuey thing.
Now she’s making Brie Larson go, “La la la.” Now she’s lying on the floor. This is like that time the guy who operated the fireworks display pressed the wrong button and set all the fireworks off at the same time. Like this …
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In the time it took me to write that, she changed into a Midsommar outfit. I think Janelle Monáe just gave me a nosebleed.
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She’s in the audience already, singing straight at Tom Hanks. And now, for the second part of this medley, she’s singing a rewritten version of Come Alive that references all the films that have been nominated this year. And for the third part she’s singing I’m Still Standing with Billy Porter. And for the fourth part she’s singing Come Alive again. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a lot.
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And here we go. Janelle Monae is the first woman we see onscreen, singing the theme tune to Mr Rogers.
Obviously, I am as in love with Brad Pitt as the next person. But he is not giving me much to say about his lewk. It’s another “Brad Pitt looks handsome in classic tuxedo” shocker. I’m sure he didn’t choose it himself, just as he probably doesn’t write his own speeches. But that smize is all his own.
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Charlize Theron in custom-made Dior is going for full-on goddess vibes here: single shoulder-baring dress (no one say “Tracy Brabin”) and full-on party leg. A definite highlight.
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This is your 10-minute warning. The Oscars start in 10 minutes. Americans: go to the toilet. Brits: go to bed. You’ll smash through the YouTube clips in about 20 minutes tomorrow morning.
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Sure the mullet needs a bit of a trim, but Brad Pitt in Bironi is the most Brad Pitt-ish look we’ve had on the red carpet this season. Translation: he knows he’s going to take home that statuette.
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What you can’t quite see here is that Timothée Chalamet – one of a new guard of men actually not looking boring on the red carpet – is wearing quite a punchy outfit. A sort of workwear-shaped jacket, rather than a tux or a suit, which the internet says makes him look as though he works in valet parking. Oh, pfft, internet, it’s fashion. And Margot Robbie likes it.
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Robert De Niro and Al Pacino: two absolute legends looking as if they are claiming Big Magician Style and owning it on the red carpet. Pacino also continuing a trend from tonight (black-on-black suit dressing).
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Extremely into this as a fashion statement: Natalie Portman has embroidered the names of female directors who weren’t nominated tonight on her cape. Those names are Scafaria, Wang, Gerwig, Diop, Heller, Matsoukas, Ha’rel, Sciamma. NB: Wang was surprise winner for best picture at the Spirit awards last night.
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Grease 2 x Frank Ocean wearing Prada at the Met Gala x A Bronx Tale = Timothée you are blowing our minds.
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The E! coverage has just ended in the UK, by the way. Usually at this point we get to watch Alex Zane in a basement for half an hour. But this time – this time! – we get to watch Alex Zane on a hotel roof for half an hour. Plus ça change.
This is what is known as taking-up-space dressing: Cynthia Erivo’s panniered look is superhero at the top and Marie Antoinette at the bottom. And will Cynthia Erivo’s left leg be the new Angelina’s right leg by the morning? Only time will tell.
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The E! fashion panel have all just dropped their jaws because the fashion game this year is next level. I just thought you might like to know that.
Amy and Jo have arrived after one another. Sorry, we mean Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh ... Ronan has bravely chosen tonight to debut her new bangs and has gone even more experimental with her Gucci dress, which looks like two dresses in one. How will Timmy C top this?!
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People on Twitter are asking Florence Pugh to “step on them”, which I think means that they like this dress. It’s by Louis Vuitton and is very Chrysler building.
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There are currently two (two!) cast members from the feature film Cats on screen on E! at the same time. I don’t know about you, but I’m terrified that they’ll rip all their skin off and then eat a mouse that screams like a child.
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Natalie Portman has embroidered her cape with the names of female directors who weren’t nominated. Now there’s a woman who wants people to really squint at a cape.
Natalie Portman embroidered her Dior cape with all of the female directors who weren't nominated for #Oscars. Check out her explanation here. pic.twitter.com/kyyo2wVMZf
— Amy Kaufman (@AmyKinLA) February 10, 2020
Here’s the dress with see-through pockets, as described by Stuart Heritage, below. I’d like to offer a fashion explanation, but I can’t. Her hands must be warm?
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Maya Rudolph looks great with her new bob haircut and copper coloured kaftan, which, damn, looks comfier than the sweat pants from 1997 we are currently wearing as we type this ...
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Geena Davis has turned up in a dress with pockets. Everyone seems very happy about this, except it needs to be pointed out that her pockets are transparent. When she puts her hands in her pockets, you can see her hands. That, quite frankly, is not what pockets are for. Can you imagine walking around with everyone seeing all the crap you carry around in your pockets? I just did a quick pocket audit and, if I pulled that in Geena Davis’ dress, everyone would have a very clear view of a snot-encrusted Kleenex.
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Funniest speech at the Baftas, best dressed at the Oscars? Twitter has a lot of time for this Jason Wu look from Rebel Wilson. More importantly, her hair is Veronica Lake’s waves with Courtney Love’s roots, a winning reference I am taking with me for my next hair appointment.
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Will Parasite sweep the Oscars? Who knows? Will we be doing Gerard Butler’s red carpet pose tomorrow morning as we point out the leaks in our boiler to our landlord? 100%.
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Quite Villanelle, isn’t it, this frothy confection of a frock from Sandra Oh? And it makes a major case for the gargantuan sleeve as the stand-out trend of the 2020 awards season.
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I hope I don’t get sacked for this, but the red carpet is really boring. So, instead, here’s some of the Oscars writing I’ve enjoyed this week:
Alexis Petridis ranked the best original Oscar songs
A case for a best casting category
Peter Bradshaw’s final predictions
And also I went to the Baftas and got annoyed by all the selfies
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Best dressed officially called …
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Things we’re going to regret tomorrow: a) how much time we wasted wondering how Blac Chyna got an invite b) how much time we wasted thinking about the audience reaction to Joaquin Phoenix’s speech c) how much we wished we were Greta Gerwig (in custom Dior) and Noah Baumbach – who tonight look very “date night couple goals”.
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E! just asked Oscar Isaac to paint a picture of the red carpet. Do they ... do they not know that they’re on television? Do they spend their entire lives doling out this sort of high-frequency enthusiasm? They must be so exhausted.
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Olivia Colman has a thing about regal sleeves. She wore huge Henry VIII ones at the Golden Globes, now she’s wearing puffy teardrop-shaped arm eruptions with a floor-sweeping cape. If there is a subliminal message here I feel it is: I AM THE QUEEN, you know. Bow down.
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Classic Almodóvar: very “I’m Your Man-era Leonard Cohen tribute gig”. Anything with a polo neck and shades gets the double thumbs-up from us.
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Part Grace Jones, part can’t-get-you-out-of-my-head Kylie, part medieval knight, part cyborg, Janelle Monáe is one of the leading lights of the modern red carpet. This ensemble is by Ralph Lauren.
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Mindy Kaling is talking to Ryan Seacrest now. She claimed that she was being tailed by a bodyguard who has been specifically hired to protect her necklace. Ryan Seacrest asked where he was. She couldn’t locate him. That necklace is getting nicked is what I’m saying.
An update from our man on the actual red carpet: Westboro Baptist Church are back. And there’s a plane calling for an Alita sequel.
Eco fashion klaxon: Booksmart’s Kaitlyn Dever tells the red carpet interviewers that she is wearing a “completely sustainable dress by Louis Vuitton”. Apparently, it’s made from tencel. It also looks quite Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
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There aren’t enough red carpet dresses inspired by lampshades. Here, Laura Dern wears one that is - in the best possible way. She looks as awesome as her Marriage Story character is terrifying. Win.
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Billie Eilish in head-to-toe custom-made Chanel, an updo and killer nails. And by ‘killer’ we mean: she’d find it hard to open a can of tuna but could probably slay you from 20 metres away.
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There had been rumours that Billie Eilish was going to debut her forthcoming Bond theme during tonight’s ceremony. However, that isn’t going to be the case. Instead, she’ll be performing during the In Memoriam section. And she definitely can’t do the Bond theme for that, because you don’t want to be singing a song called No Time to Die underneath a massive picture of Kirk Douglas.
Instead, she’ll be covering ‘a song I’ve always loved’. Please, place your bets in the comments.
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Nominating Billy Porter’s platform heel for 2021’s best supporting actor ...
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In ‘This will go viral in the morning’ news: an early shoe win for Frozen 2 songwriter Kristen Anderson-Lopez – a kooky nod to the fact she writes songs for animated films.
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Spike Lee pays tribute to Kobe Bryant in this purple and gold number, with ‘24’ printed on the lapels. Possibly the first of many outfits that will deliver a message this evening.
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The E! red carpet panelists have congratulated Regina King on graduating from strapless dresses last year to dresses with one strap this year. I hope this pattern continues. Two straps next year. Three in 2022. Ten years from now she’ll have to crawl up the red carpet, broken and crying from the sheer weight of straps that she’s graduated to, and the E! red carpet panelists will explode in a cloud of hormones.
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Sigourney Weaver looks classic in emerald Dior. We’re loving the rope belt feature and the tiny clutch bag possibly featuring the secrets for Avatar 2, Avatar 3 and Avatar 4 in it.
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Diane Warren is on the red carpet now. She’s nominated for a song called I’m Standing With You, and now she’s standing with a woman who just said, “I’m standing with you” out loud to Diane Warren. It doesn’t speak well of my chances tonight that this has blown my mind.
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And speaking of Julia Butters, she’s literally brought a packed lunch with her. Fear her, for she is the wisest woman in this circus.
Julia Butters brought a turkey sandwich in her purse because "I don't like some of the food here. #Oscars pic.twitter.com/sCDTr4GZYq
— Amy Kaufman (@AmyKinLA) February 9, 2020
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The red carpet show isn’t exactly big on revelations – I just heard one woman ask a guest, “How does it feel to live in the hearts of millions of people?” – but I think I just heard Questlove say that he was going to DJ during the ceremony. Will there be a DJ instead of an orchestra? What will he chose to drop during the In Memoriam section? Will this be the first How Do You Do Fellow Kids Oscars?
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Julia Butters is the breakout star of Once Upon a Time In Hollywood. She is 10 years old and she is swathed in OTT pink frills by Christian Sirano. I won’t make a Butters-wouldn’t-melt joke, but I will say that she looks pretty adorable.
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Billy Porter continues his OMG-moments on the red carpet by dressing like ... an Oscar! Tonight he has mixed a sleeveless top with gold feathers with a floor-length skirt featuring a bold orange print and was styled by Sam Ratelle.
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It might be raining on the red carpet and you’re going to wake up tomorrow with a sore head thinking, ‘But Ford v Ferrari looked terrible’ but don’t worry: there’s always Regina King who looks resplendent in this fitted pale pink number.
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It begins! The red carpet is open. We, Hannah Marriott and Priya Elan of Guardian Fashion, are here to guide you through it. Memes will be made. Trends will be born. Lucrative contractual obligations will be fulfilled. Billy Porter will be awesome. And will any of Hollywood’s climate activists bother with sustainable fashion? Who knows! Exciting, isn’t it? Stay tuned for the next couple of hours.
Once Upon a Time in Bloggywood
Good evening world, and welcome to the Guardian’s liveblog of the 2019 Oscars. Tonight marks the end of a long and gruelling awards season, full of snubs (Uncut Gems, Midsommar, people who aren’t white men) and dangerously low on surprises.
If the other awards this year have taught us anything, it’s that Brad Pitt will win best supporting actor and charm us with a suspiciously funny speech; and that Joaquin Phoenix will win best actor and shout at us like an especially hungover supply teacher. There’s still a question mark hovering over the recipient of best picture – although many suggest that 1917 will nose it – but aside from that, this might well be the Oscars on autopilot.
But you’re not here to see who wins an Oscar, are you? You’re here because for some reason you really, really like reading liveblogs of American award ceremonies as written by a tired British person in a different time zone. So let me tell you what’s going to happen this evening. For the next two hours, I’ll be following the (uncharacteristically soggy) red carpet action with help from the very talented Guardian fashion team. As a word of advice, I’ll be watching and commenting the E! red carpet show (on the Sky Oscars channel in the UK) – which from memory is like getting a concussion and then receiving a Red Bull enema – so try to watch it along with me, unless you perversely enjoy attempting to decode dozens and dozens of context-dependent semi-jokes for hours on end.
And once that’s done, the real fun will begin. The 92nd Academy Awards kick off at 1am GMT and, if previous years are any indication, will grind on obliviously until the heat death of the universe. It will be exhausting and dispiriting, but at least we have our entire, amazing film desk on hand throughout the night for reaction and analysis. In the meantime, here’s the annual Oscars bingo card [try here for a bigger version] that I definitely didn’t write in a hurry with a hangover. There are no prizes.
If you’re American, settle down for a fun few hours. If you’re British, go to bed. Why are you even awake now? You’ve got work tomorrow, and I don’t want you getting sacked on my account.
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