Oscar Pistorius has claimed Reeva Steenkamp would not want him to “waste” his life by spending it behind bars when he could be helping others.
The former Paralympian athlete gave an emotional interview with ITV ahead of his sentencing on 6 July for the murder of Steenkamp, a model and law graduate, after his original conviction for culpable homicide was upgraded.
Pistorius shot his girlfriend four times through a locked bathroom door on Valentine's Day in his home in Pretoria, South Africa, fatally wounding her. In the interview filmed in his Pretoria home, Pistorius claimed he did not deserve to be punished for murder, which carries a minimum sentence of 15 years in prison under South African law.
The athlete said being simultaneously “infamous and famous” is making his life increasingly difficult and described how a woman in a supermarket began screaming at security for letting him in as he tried to do his grocery shopping.
He said being allowed to live his life outside of prison would allow him to do good for other people.
“I don't want to go back to jail; I don't want to have to waste my life sitting here,” he went on. “If I was afforded the opportunity of redemption I would like to help the less fortunate like I had in my past. I would like to believe that if Reeva could look down upon me that she would want me to live that life.”
Pistorius denies murdering Steenkamp and claims he killed her unintentionally after mistaking her for an intruder. This account was dismissed by prosecutors who claim he killed Steenkamp after an argument over an ex-boyfriend.
The 29-year-old said he did not disagree that he deserved to be punished for taking her life. "What's difficult is dealing with the charge of murder,” he said.
He became upset throughout the interview and at one point walked out as he recalled holding her lifeless body in graphic detail. He claimed he could still “feel” and “smell” the blood from Steenkamp’s body.
“I just see blood and it’s just blood everywhere ... So much blood! I try and pick her up. I’m trying to pick her up but there’s so much blood I can’t stand up.
“And I thought Reeva had started breathing, so I had my fingers in her mouth and I was trying to give her mouth to mouth, but there was so much blood.”
Oscar Pistorius: The Interview will be broadcast at 9pm on Friday on ITV.
