Like trying to peel a football. Photograph: Spencer Jones/Getty
Let the orange jokes be unconfined. In G2 today, Lucy Mangan celebrates the humble orange's loss of ap-peel (her joke, not mine):
The orange has always had almost nothing to recommend it. It is a spherical agglomeration of all that is messy, finicky and impractical. It is covered in skin that demands the sacrifice of at least four fingernails before it will give in. You'd have better luck peeling a cow. The whole point of fruit - sugarless, joyless, borderline medicinal stuff - is that it can be eaten while doing something more interesting. That's the trade-off for eating healthily. An armoured variety betrays the pact.
In vitriolic style, she bemoans the white, bitter, tenacious pith, underlying flesh that is either dry and fibrous or overly succulent, spurting cuff-staining jets of bright, sticky juice. The pips, too, are in for it, and even the notional segments of this globular abomination don't escape her righteous wrath.
When I heard the news that sales are falling I thought Yes! Down with this sorry fruit. I too have been frustrated by the difficulty and lack of reward. Eating fruit is hard enough, an assault course for the fingers doesn't make it any easier. I hate the smell, the shiny pimpled exterior, and the way it sits amongst the proper fruit getting slowly smaller but without seeming to actually go off.
Is this orangey outrage just us? What of the relatives - satsumas, clementines, and tangerines?
