8 August 2009, 3.23pm.
Take note of this date, for it surely marked a new record for the earliest flinging of a season ticket at his manager by a disgruntled fan. Yet half an hour earlier at Carrow Road everything had been sweetness and light. More than 25,000 fans were packed in, Norwich had enjoyed a successful pre-season combining a number of seemingly judicious purchases with a flurry of pre-season victories and the sun was shining.
And so it continued for at least half a dozen minutes as the Canaries played some scintillating football. And then things unravelled quicker than I have ever seen in any sport at any time.
The spark was a skewed back pass from right-back Jon Otsemobor that required debutant goalkeeper Michael Theoklitos, who claims to be keeping his options open as to whether to represent Australia or Greece at international level, to punch the ball away as it went over his head. He missed. From less than a foot he missed a 10-inch target. A miscalculation that allowed Kevin Lisbie to open the scoring for the visitors. The rest of his team looked upon Theo with disbelief. Their collective '"where did this clown come from?" was almost audible.
Three minutes later, Lisbie sped past Norwich captain Gary Doherty (aka The Ginger Pelé) and placed a modest shot towards Theo who fell over and palmed it into the path of Clive Platt, who shot into an empty net. 0-2. Six minutes later, Theo and his defence, having blundered when being active, decided that a policy of inaction might be preferable. This proved ill-advised. Platt tapped into an empty net at the far post. 0-3.
Three minutes later, Colchester were awarded a free-kick 20 yards out. Theo, confidence shattered, took up position outside the goal, crouching behind the post. 0-4. At which stage a noble father and son team from the Snakepit area of the ground didn't so much invade the pitch as clamber on to it and stroll half the length of it before readying themselves for their protest. All of this was carried out with a commendable dignity that was only undermined by the nature of the season ticket they were bearing. Have you ever tried throwing a credit card? It's a bit like skimming stones and requires no little skill and technique. Put simply, it's probably best to practise before trying it in public.
So it was that the protestors' protest fell rather flat. Rather than skimming the tickets off manager Bryan Gunn's bald noggin and up into the directors' box, the flung tickets simply and limply fell to earth leaving everyone pondering that thorny issue: who picks up the unwanted season ticket? Steward? Fourth official? Assistant manager?
The tickets lying on the ground might have prompted Gunn to make some substitutions. Being 4-0 down in 20 minutes does suggest Plan A has gone awry. Gunny did nothing. Not even at half-time after Colchester had notched a fifth, Theo crouching head in hands like a twitchy bomb disposal expert as the ball floated over him. His confidence was shot, but Gunny did nothing for fear that substituting his goalkeeper would shoot his confidence. An absurd piece of old pro's logic. Just because you would have been mortified to be subbed as a goalie, it doesn't mean you should never sub your goalie as a manager, or you are likely to be subbed yourself, as Gunny found out on Friday.
