March 07--I hereby offer my full-throated endorsement of Donald Trump for president.
After months of expressing disgust at the real-estate mogul and his xenophobic, distasteful campaign, something dawned on me: I'm a white guy.
What the heck do I have to lose in all this, aside from my self-respect, sense of morality, compassion, reputation, family and ability to ever look at myself in the mirror again?
By sacrificing those minor things, my America can be made great again! (I didn't actually think my America was that bad, to be honest, but apparently it is just awful, thanks mainly to people who look different than me. Who knew?)
At a rally in Florida on Saturday, Trump noted: "We have a terrible president who happens to be African-American."
That's an excellent point, and I'm glad Trump made it clear to his predominantly white audience -- who held their right hands up and swore allegiance to Trump in a way that didn't seem at all Nazi-ish -- that the president who is terrible happens to also be black.
Trump's not saying there's a connection, he's just saying. (Wink to all my fellow white guys.)
But if there's one thing we (white guys) can count on it's that a Trump presidency will make things better for all of us. There will be fewer Mexicans (wall); fewer Muslims (closing mosques, no refugees, general intolerance); fewer weak men with feelings (everything will be SO strong); and fewer women and minorities in the workplace thanks to political correctness being outlawed and everyone who's not a white guy wanting to move to Canada rather than deal with all the loud-mouthed white guys.
And why is it good to have fewer of all these people? Because we (white guys) all know that every out-of-work white guy is a victim of "others." It could be the fault of the president who happens to be black. Or it could be the Mexicans pouring across our Swiss-cheese border, as long as you ignore the fact that, according to a recent Pew Research Center study, there are more Mexicans leaving the United States than entering.
It's definitely not the fault of globalization and America's change to a more knowledge-based economy. It's the fault of us believing the politically correct myth that it's the fault of globalization and America's change to a more knowledge-based economy.
Trump will erase that myth and return all the high-paying manufacturing jobs by destroying political correctness, which is what's forcing us white guys to tolerate all these other people who have made white-guy America less great.
Consider what Rush Limbaugh said on his show last week: "Trump's speaking in ways that men today still speak, when they're not hounded by the modern eclipse of feminism and its supporters. Men speak this way to each other. They crack jokes this way to each other. It does not make them bad people. And I think there's a yearning for it among a whole segment of the population, women, men, they want this kind of gruff, fearless, tell-it-like-it-is persona."
