Gen Z’s relationship with their phone has long come under scrutiny and critique. As I bristle with defensiveness and yearn to point out my mother’s Facebook reels consumption level, instead I acquiesce. Because to quote my elders, it really is “those damn phones”.
For so many of us, our phones serve as a perennial distraction from our daily tasks, creativity and basic timekeeping. For the advanced phonemaxxers, excessive screen time affects our memory, cognition, sleep and attention span.
But there’s another hidden cost to our screen obsession: in the bedroom. And for a generation already having less sex than our parents, our phones may be the quiet culprit getting in the way of real connection.
Sexual wellness brand Lovehoney are dubbing it ‘the phonedemic’; and whilst I usually eye-roll at such sweeping labels, in this instance I’m uncharacteristically inclined to agree. Phones are quickly becoming an unsolicited third in the bedroom for young couples, and the statistics behind this are confronting.
Prolific phone use fuels relationship friction, with 18% of Gen Z and Millennial couples citing it as the biggest cause of arguments
New research from LoveHoney shows that smartphones are now one of the biggest disruptors of intimacy and connection between couples. 35% of us have stated that being on our phones affects our willingness to be intimate with a partner, with 56% of us attributing this towards being distracted and 40% of us saying it affects quality time.
But the most generationally embarrassing data you could imagine (and this I cannot defend)? 18% of Gen Z Brits check their phone during sex. Yes, during.
It’s this incorrigible screen addiction that’s quietly eroding our sex lives. At this age, we’re meant to be nubile and insatiable, yet all too often what’s whetting our appetite isn’t our partner, but the dopamine shots of AI slop and YouTube Shorts.
And the rot runs deeper than the sheets. The study also shows that prolific phone use fuels relationship friction, with 18% of Gen Z and Millennial couples citing it as the biggest cause of arguments. It’s not hard to see why; our phones are ever-present, both physically and emotionally. 68% of Brits surveyed say they check their phone in bed before going to sleep, and 67% reach for it the moment they wake up.
Recently, my partner and I went and stayed off-grid for a weekend with Shacks off-grid holidays, and locked our phones away for the entire time. The totally predictable outcome? Deeper connection, better intimacy and less brainrot. No doomscrolling, no notifications, just time.
Back in London, my goal is to be far more intentional about my screen time when it comes to my relationship. And for my Gen Z counterparts having a scroll during a quickie - I suggest you do too. You’re embarrassing us all.
