May 18--Overlooked in the news coverage of hourslong security lines at O'Hare International and Midway airports is this: an opportunity.
Sure, the security screening logjams that have caused thousands to miss flights can be addressed by "hiring more Transportation Security Administration officers" and "bringing in bomb-sniffing canines" and "making sure America's air transit system functions safely and efficiently."
But that's inside-the-luggage thinking.
Consider the old adage, "It's not the destination, it's the journey." I say we expand on that: "It's not the destination, or the journey -- it's the airport!"
Imagine the money that can be saved, and the fun people can have, if we market the security lines at Chicago's two airports as travel destinations unto themselves.
It's not a vacation. It's not a staycation. It's a linecation!
Yes, the Windy City's airport security lines could become the new "it" destinations this summer.
Consider this pitch:
Tired of those "same-old, same-old" family vacations? Sick of worrying about sunburns and difficult-to-photograph vistas?
Chicago has your answer. Leave your worries behind this summer and get in line at O'Hare International Airport!
Upon arrival, you'll be greeted by hundreds of fellow travelers, and that's where the fun begins. Put away your smartphone and get ready to teach your kids about good old-fashioned forced conversation.
Imagine the interesting people you can meet while standing around and stifling your slowly building rage with a taut smile. In front of you is Alice from Des Moines. She doesn't understand the concept of personal space and seems oddly comfortable telling strangers about her recent hysterectomy.
Behind you is the Sanderson family from Boston. Doug sells insurance, Marge works in accounting and little Doug Jr. has gas and likes to yell, "EEEEEEEEEEP!!" every 20 seconds.
As the line creeps, you'll stand shoulder to shoulder with other folks from across America and around the world, including a family from India that Alice from Des Moines is worried about because, she says, "they look kinda Mooslem."
Visitors to O'Hare's security line make friends (and some enemies!) that last a lifetime, because that's approximately how long it takes to get through the line.
