There’s nothing quite like betrayal. But when it’s public? That hits so much harder.
Unless you’re chronically offline, you will have seen the Coldplay ‘Kiss Cam’ scandal - the moment the crowd, and then the entire internet, watched what looked suspiciously like a very public, very awkward betrayal unfold in real time. Cue the memes, TikToks, office jokes and Linkedin banter.
And yet, behind the viral moment is something far more sobering: the devastation of betrayal. People are very quick to forget that there are more than just two people involved in the ‘scandal’, and in fact the ones being hurt the most were not caught out by the camera. I’ve spent my career helping people navigate the messier corners of sex and relationships, and I can tell you this: when heartbreak becomes a public spectacle, the pain takes on a whole new shape.
This isn't about Coldplay or a viral clip. It's about what happens when potentially the worst moment in someone’s life becomes the internet’s new obsession.
Betrayal on its own is already enough to undermine your sense of self. But when that private shock is broadcast to and laughed at by strangers online - often within seconds - it crosses into humiliation. It becomes something you’re no longer allowed to own quietly. The internet decides what it means, how you should react, and whether you’re allowed to be upset at all. It’s important in any breakup or betrayal of trust to take time for self-care, but even more so when that betrayal has played out in front of an audience. Particularly in the age of the internet; take some time away from your phone and social media, and do whatever it is you need to do to relax.
Let’s be honest though, there’s nothing funny about being cheated on
We’re living in an era where real pain has entertainment value and people’s real emotions become a trending topic, where a partner’s infidelity and someone’s heartbreak is rebranded as meme content. We pretend that if something is funny, it can’t also be deeply hurtful.
Let’s be honest though, there’s nothing funny about being cheated on. Especially not when it happens in a stadium full of people or through the lens of someone else's iPhone screen.
The narrative around infidelity needs to evolve. Yes, we’re all fascinated by the drama and the ‘what’s going to happen next’- but the collateral damage is real people, real relationships and real mental health. When betrayal is public, the healing process has to happen under a microscope, which means it's often delayed, complicated and lonely.
So what do you do when the person you trusted most betrays you in the most visible way imaginable? There’s no easy answer. But the first step is to remember you are allowed to take ownership of your story, even if thousands of strangers think it belongs to them. You are allowed to be angry, to be devastated, to be loud or silent or messy. You don’t owe dignity or an explanation to people who didn’t offer you the same.
Public betrayal isn’t just heartbreak - it's an emotional spectacle. But whether your pain is trending online or playing out quietly in your home, the aftermath is yours to navigate. You still deserve space to feel everything without having to apologise. You still have the right to log off, lean on the support system around you, and take the time you need. It might not be neat, or dignified, or Instagrammable, but healing rarely is. And in both private pain and public drama, reclaiming your peace is the most powerful response of all.
Annabelle Knight is a relationships expert at Lovehoney
