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Daniel Smith

Open relationship and ego: Inside Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's 'unconventional' marriage

Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith have hit the headlines after the Hollywood leading man struck comedian Chris Rock in the face for making a joke about his wife at the Academy Awards. It was a moment that shocked the world watching the ceremony live.

S mith later went on to win the Oscar for best actor as event for his performance in the tennis biopic King Richard. After receiveing the award., he apologised, using his best actor acceptance speech to say: “I want to apologise to the Academy, I want to apologise to all my fellow nominees.”

But he then went on to say: “I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people and to be a river to my people. I know to do what we do you’ve got to be able to take abuse, you’ve got to be able to have people talk crazy about you in this business. You’ve got to be able have people disrespecting you and you’ve got to smile and pretend like that’s OK.”

T he Smiths' marriage, however, has been the subject of much controversy and rumour over the years...

Open relationship

The couple have two children together, having married in 1997. Jaden and Willow Smith are 23 and 20, respectively. The couple dominated headlines in 2020 when they finally addressed rumours that they were in an open relationship.

Jada admitted that she'd had sexual relations with rapper - and Jaden's friend - August Alsina while she was married to Smith. The Pursuit of Happyness star has also said he has been unfaithful during his time in the marriage.

Jada revealed on her show The Red Table that she had engaged in an 'entanglement' while the pair were separated. Earlier this month, Smith addressed further chatter about his marriage after Rebel Wilson made a joke after he scooped Best Actor for his role in King Richard at the 75th Annual British Academy Film Awards.

Rebel joked: "I thought his best performance over the past year was being OK with all his wife's boyfriends!" Speaking afterwards, Smith clarified that there had "never been infidelity", despite Jada's "entanglement" with 29-year-old Alsina.

He said: "There's never been infidelity in our marriage. Jada and I talk about everything, and we have never surprised one another with anything ever."

The couple clarified that they were separated at the time of the relationship. and Smith said his wife wasn't "the only one engaging in other sexual relationships" outside of their marriage. He admitted his wife never "believed in conventional marriage", so they spent a long time figuring out their relationship boundaries.

Smith explained: "Jada never believed in conventional marriage.… Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship. So she grew up in a way that was very different than how I grew up. There were significant endless discussions about what is relational perfection? What is the perfect way to interact as a couple? And for the large part of our relationship, monogamy was what we chose, not thinking of monogamy as the only relational perfection."

He added: "We have given each other trust and freedom, with the belief that everybody has to find their own way. And marriage for us can't be a prison. And I don't suggest our road for anybody. I don't suggest this road for anybody. But the experiences that the freedoms that we've given one another and the unconditional support, to me, is the highest definition of love."

The 'display of ego' that broke them up

The couple split after Smith threw Jada a 40th birthday party. The three-day extravaganza took place in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and included activities such as golf and hikes.

Smith even created a documentary about his wife's family and hired Missy Elliot to perform after a dinner which included a 20-foot-long archway adorned with photos of Jada. He said: "I was the perfect husband."

However, Jada did not like the party saying it was "the most disgusting display of ego I have ever seen in my life," and demanded he cancel the rest of the weekend. After the argument, Smith said he told Jada: "I retire. I retire from trying to make you happy … I quit — you go do you, and I'm-a go do me." While the couple said they "didn't want a divorce", Smith said they needed time to be apart.

Back together

This period is understood to have had a strain on Smith, who discussed experiences with mental health in a trailer for the docuseries Best Shape Of My Life. He said: "What you've come to understand as Will Smith, the alien-annihilating MC, bigger-than-life movie star, is largely a construction - a carefully crafted and honed character designed to protect myself, to hide myself from the world, to hide the coward."

Oprah questioned Smith on a line in his book, Will, that read: “Our time apart helped us both to discover the power of loving in freedom.” He described their relationship as a ‘marital prison’, saying: "You love in freedom with everybody except your partner."

He explained that while you allow room and space in your relationships with friends, this is often not the case with your partner - this was something the couple looked to address.

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