The last 18 months have been incredibly difficult for everyone. We've been forced apart from our friends and family, felt scared, felt uncertain and lost jobs, freedoms, and even worse, lost people we love.
There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel and it feels good to have some sense of normality return but there is another epidemic sweeping the country.
You see, long after the masks are gone and everybody's been vaccinated, we're still going to be dealing with the ramifications of this pandemic - because it's taken a huge toll on people's mental health.
And honestly, I just can't understand how anyone - after the year we've all just had - can still go online and spout the kind of vile, disgusting vitriol that I see on social media on a daily basis.
I'm not just talking about what I'm exposed to - I am shocked and appalled at some of the abuse I have read recently - whether it be directed at our nation’s young footballers or at the current cast of Love Island.
Now more than ever, we need to practise kindness, patience and compassion.
There's never been a place for this deplorable behaviour, but after this last 18 months, it's even harder to believe that anyone would act this way towards another human being.
Every single person in the UK has struggled, sacrificed and felt scared at one point or another throughout this pandemic, so why is it just so hard for people to show love and support rather than bitterness and hate? Our country needs this light and love more than ever now.
I know people don't understand the power that their comments can have, the weight they can carry, and I honestly believe they might not realise the gravity of their words, but you never know what another person is going through.
That unnecessarily nasty thought that you just couldn't possibly keep to yourself could be the one thing that pushes that person over the edge. Could you live with yourself knowing you were the person who did that? I know I couldn't.
And in truth, we've already lost so many young, bright and beautiful souls - whether they're in the public eye or not - because of the cruelty and unkindness of people online. When are we going to learn? When are we going to do better?
I've been vocal about this over the last year - just trying to encourage people to be kinder to one another. I started by literally putting my money where my mouth is and trying to set a better example for people by focusing my time and energy throughout lockdown on my isolation care package project for the elderly.
I spent three months during the first lockdown working closely alongside the lovely team at Age UK to get parcels out to elderly and vulnerable members of the most in need communities. We got support from amazing brands like McVitie's, Hovis, Tyrells and Princes, and the help of my amazing friends including my partner Ercan, best friend Gav, the artful dodger and his wife Sophie, Chris, Michael and Jordan.
Even some of the lush Love Island lads as well and loads of other amazing volunteers were able to help some of the people who needed it most.
On top of that I'm working really hard to make my social media a super-kind, organic and very honest place - I show my 'reality', not just carefully curated images of perfection. I allow people to see the real me and open up about all sorts of things from periods to imposter syndrome - in the hopes that people will think twice about being rude, unkind or insulting if they're aware that there is a real girl, with real issues, on the receiving end of their scathing remarks.
I know it’s not going to change overnight - but I am trying to do my bit.
While there are so many incredible people on social media campaigning for change - showing us how the platform can be used to spread positivity and to inspire - unfortunately there's also so much hate out there, and it's not going to just go away.
These people who spend their spare time commenting on a complete stranger's pictures to tell them they're ugly, or fat, or that they don't like the TV show they're on, aren't just going to wake up one day and realise that what they're doing is wrong.
And the worst thing is that for ages I think we've all assumed these trolls are bitter and twisted, old boots living in their mam's box room, going nowhere and hating their life so they project that anger onto other people - but the scary fact is, it can be anyone. The mothers you see at the school gate, the man who serves you in Tesco, the bloke from down the pub, the girl next to you in the queue for the toilets.
That’s the beauty of social media for those who choose to abuse it - the veil of anonymity. It allows them to do and say anything they want, to whoever they want, without any consequence for their actions.
Which is why I believe we need to put more pressure on the social media giants to do something about this cruel and dangerous culture. Because if we don't actively do something about it, it'll only continue to get worse and worse - and more beautiful and brilliant young people are going to lose their lives because of it.
I can remember, one of the first things I was ever taught was 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all', but for some reason, behind the safety of a computer screen and the confidentiality, people feel safe to say whatever it is they want without so much as a thought for the other person's feelings or mental health.
Trolls have no idea what the person they're saying these things to is going through - assuming their life is perfect, glossy and they're super-strong, but everybody has struggles, everyone has down days, whether their life seems perfectly charmed on Instagram or not.
We all have days when we feel a bit sad and low, we all have moments that we miss our mam and we all have weeks where we just aren’t ourselves, so please be mindful of what you say because you cannot possibly entertain what another person is going through.
I’ve had some truly low moments in my life, in particular on my days in Geordie Shore when I wasn’t old enough deal with the new situation I'd found myself in, or the overwhelming pressure I felt suddenly having all those eyes on me, and I didn't have the tools to navigate this new world I was somehow now part of.
I felt lost, alone and frightened and it manifested itself in some pretty awful ways. I drank too much to hide the fact that I felt powerless and uncomfortable, and my mental health suffered terribly.
On TV I appeared super brash, super confident and incredibly opinionated, but these things were just defence mechanisms, they weren’t real confidence. They were all just a show. Deep down, I was a truly misguided, lost little girl and I think people assumed that they could say anything they wanted about me and it wouldn’t hurt, because of the loud and larger-than-life character they saw on their TV every week.
But that wasn’t the case at all.
It was terrifying and devastating and it exacerbated my already existing insecurities about my weight, about how I was being perceived, about who I was as a person.
I was in my early 20s when I was going through this, and I can honestly say I’m so pleased that I at least managed to have a relatively carefree and charmed childhood before the juggernaut that is social media burst on to the scene and started controlling our every move.
It breaks my heart that children are growing up with this unnecessary pressure and vicious undercurrent dictating their lives. There are just so many different apps these days and then the constant bombardment of perceived perfection, the filters, their self-worth hinging on how many likes their most recent post got and that constant search for virtual strangers’ validation.
It’s no way for a child to live - let them be kids, for god’s sake.
I know I'm probably romantising my youth and I know we still might have had our childhood bullies, but when we went home and we closed the door on it. Now it’s constant, it’s 24 hours. There is no respite from the new wave of cyber bullying, they can be in your home, the one place these children are truly meant to feel safe. It’s so scary.
But what can we do about it?
I've really struggled with what I think is the correct way to police social media.
I don’t want to infringe on people’s right to freedom of speech and having an opinion, of course not. I’m a super-opinionated person, but my take on this is that I am held accountable for everything I say and do on social media.
So why aren't these trolls?
Just the other day, somebody racially abused my boyfriend, Ercan Ramadan, on social media.
I won't even repeat the disgusting thing they said to me about him, but what I will say is that if they'd walked up to Ercan in the street and said that it would be a hate crime, so why do people think it's acceptable to behave this way online?
I reported it to Instagram, but it didn't feel like enough. It felt pathetic quite frankly.
The thing is, I didn't want to give this disgusting person the attention they were so desperately craving by publicly responding to them, but is clicking a little button so that Instagram removes the comment enough?
These people have gone on too long thinking that there is no comeuppance for this hate, for this cruelty, and I believe the time to sit back and do nothing is over.
We can't go on in fear of these depraved bullies, having them hurl racist abuse at our athletes or our loved ones, having them tear apart young people whose only crime is to look great in a bikini in a villa, we cannot allow them to dictate what we post and how we live our lives any longer.
I don’t think you should be able to open an Instagram account without typing in your email, without registering yourself, without putting down some sort of identification and being culpable for your behaviour.
This sounds extreme - but so is the loss of young lives to cyber bullying and the destruction of people's mental health through relentless online hate.
I know this is part of a bigger conversation and I would never advocate for anything unsafe, the making public of anyone's address or anything that threatens the rights of domestic abuse sufferers - but there are ways and means for the social media giants to step up and do better to make these communities a safer place for everyone.
The fact is if everyone was just a decent human being and stuck to the rule: If you wouldn’t walk up to someone in the street and say it to their face, don't hide behind your computer screen and send it over the internet - the world would be a happier and healthier place.
But unfortunately, we can't guarantee that, so Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok and everything in between need to step up.
It's that simple.
*Vicky's forthcoming book The Secret To Happy will be published on January 6 2022, published by Sphere
