FIRST CUT IS THE LONGEST
September 1996 and one of Japan’s finest exports, a red Toyota Supra Turbo, roars through the streets of Islington. Inside is somebody already completely at home with his surroundings, Ready or Not by The Fugees blaring out of his sunroof, Oakley sunglasses just visible behind the tinted windscreen. Parking up outside Highbury, for free of course, the tall lanky figure unpacks himself from the car like an expertly assembled drying rack, and marches inside the East Stand, up the stairs, throwing a cursory glance in the direction of Herbert Chapman’s bust. “I got ‘dis, ‘Erbie,” the man whispers under his heavily-perfumed breath.
For better, for worse, today marks 20 years since Arsène Wenger was appointed manager of Arsenal Football Club. Under his stewardship, Arsenal have transformed themselves – the players, the diets, the stadiums, the season-ticket prices – but one thing has remained the same: Wenger’s hair.
With all the stresses that a mid-season slump and a deadline-day collapse must bring, as well as the notable run-ins with Lord Ferg and his coat, this is arguably the 66-year-old’s greatest achievement. From Freddie Ljungberg’s mohawk to Cesc Fàbregas’s mullet, to Gervinho’s braided curtains, it must have been hard turning up at work every day with the same belief that what he was doing was right. Many fans questioned him, urging him to change his style and spend a bit more money, but Wenger has remained true to his values. Questions still remain. How does it stay in place on a wet Tuesday night at Stoke? Where does he get it cut? Seriously, though. The Fiver could do with a trim.
So here’s to you Arsène, congratulations. In an age when the average Premier League manager tenure is less than 18 months, 20 years is a fantastic achievement in anyone’s book. However, the only physical prize you get for that amount of longevity is china, which looks nice but is liable to break. Unfortunately silverware is traditionally a 25th anniversary present. Not long, Piers!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I know that some football Einsteins – football is full of Einsteins – I know that they tried to delete 16 years of my career. They tried to delete an unbelievable history of Man United football club and to focus on a bad week with three bad results. But that’s the new football – it’s full of Einsteins” – José Mourinho comes out swinging after a 3-1 win at Northampton.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Here’s some Football Weekly Extra for your lug-holes, with AC Jimbo and co.
FIVER LETTERS
“The Sturrock-Mpenza dispute (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs) reminded me of the occasion when, on behalf of a friend, I popped into my local pharmacy to enquire about Viagra. I asked the chemist if I could get it over the counter. ‘If you take two, sir’” – Jonathan Foulkes.
“Was yesterday’s letter o’the day a joint effort from all 4,000-odd inhabitants of Diego Garcia? It’s probably a good thing there was no prize, as that would have been a nightmare to share out” – Kevin Davey.
“Re: yesterday’s Fiver. I know the closest The Fiver has got to grassroots football is waking up in the park on a Sunday morning after a night on Purple Tin, but playing for Ramsbottom United, as Gareth Seddon did this week, shouldn’t be classed as retired” – Ant Curtis.
“I need to thank The Fiver [well, there’s a first – Fiver Ed] for offering Carrie Dunn’s book The Roar of the Lionesses as prize for letter o’the day a couple of weeks ago. Knowing full well that my brand of erudite sophistication is better suited for Soul Mates rather than Fiver Letters, there wasn’t a chance I’d ever win, so I ordered a review copy. I loved it, as stated here” – Hubert O’Hearn.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Jonathan Foulkes.
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BITS AND BOBS
The Football League has binned the idiotic proposal of including Premier League B teams and “clubs from non-English leagues” in its plans for a new structure.
Aston Villa have launched an internal investigation after reports about Jack Grealish and an all-night party at a Birmingham hotel last weekend. “He needs to grow up very quickly,” sniffed Bobby Di Matteo. “Once it’s finished and we have all the facts then we will take disciplinary action. This is the stance.”
So, the Rumbelows Cup fourth round is going to be a bit lively: Manchester United v Manchester City, Liverpool v Tottenham and Nasty Leeds v Norwich.
Roar! Jürgen Klopp wants Liverpool to be angry against Hull City on Saturday. “They want our points,” he blared. “We have to think about why people think we have problems against bus-parking.”
Another day, another new Tottenham contract. This time, it’s Danny Rose extending his stay for five more years. “I am so happy. I am settled here, I am slowly turning into a southerner,” he geezahed. “I’m over the moon that I’ll stay here until I’m an old man.”
Willem II midfielder Anouar Kali became the first player in the Netherlands to be sent off by a video assistant referee after his yellow card in Wednesday’s Dutch Cup hammering by Ajax was turned into a red.
And the SFA has been hit with a “refusal to play” Uefa charge after its U-19 women’s team pulled out of a European qualifier against Serbia due to “an outbreak of acute gastroenteritis”. Scurrilous Serbian media reports alleged the Scots were too hungover after celebrating an earlier win against Albania. “I have never experienced anything like it but the main thing is that we are back recuperating and awaiting Uefa’s verdict,” said coach Gareth Evans.
STILL WANT MORE?
Stubborn? Loyal? Romantic? Revolutionary? Relic? Survivor? No, not weird Uncle Fiver … Arsène Wenger. Amy Lawrence chronicles the Frenchman’s two decades in north London. Barney Ronay also has his say, through the medium of David Bowie analogies.
Do also have a look at what became of Wenger’s contemporaries in 1996, when football still clung to its last vestige of innocence. And finally a gallery – with the captions provided by the man himself. Woof.
Messi’s knacked and Atlético dug out a draw at Barcelona. Here’s Sid Lowe on all the latest La Liga goings-on.
Simone Verdi looks finally ready to live up to his billing as the next “Magic Box” at Bologna – a sentence that becomes far clearer when learning that was also Gianfranco Zola’s nickname. Paolo Bandini has more.
Jonathan Kodjia tells Paul Doyle he reckons Aston Villa are going to pleasantly surprise a few people this season. Read his engaging interview here.
And Giggsy gets set for his big break at, er, Swansea. So says the Rumour Mill.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. AND INSTACHAT, TOO!
