Driving a Vauxhall Viva SE 1.0 is like flying Ryanair. Every time you look for a thing – satnav, parking sensor, pretzels, aircon, a smile, some acceleration in second gear – it isn’t there. Seriously? Vauxhall’s idea of a “feature” is a driver’s seat head adjuster and a removable luggage compartment cover?
Then you have to talk yourself down: it is very cheap. It’s cheap to buy and cheap to run. It’s cheap enough to represent a social shift, the democratisation of new car ownership. It’s so cheap that to drop a monkey on green metallic paint, as on my version, is like garnishing a Happy Meal with saffron. Keep that in mind. It didn’t cost very much. Or, in industry parlance, it is “affordable”.
The gears are tinny, so you often have to wiggle them about before you hit the one you want. The clutch is very high, which might suit some outlier with super-stretchy tendons, but for most will just give you a sore left foot after a long drive. But of course you’ll be thinking, “Never mind my foot, how did I get all the way to Chichester on a quarter-tank of petrol?” That’ll be the advertised 62.8mpg (it’s never that high in real life, but I was still impressed; some trips didn’t seem even to register on the fuel gauge). The engine is 1-litre and feels it: very little acceleration in any gear, and no residual vroom to fall back on. I haven’t nearly stalled so often since I was a learner. Once you’re at your speed, however, it is quiet and surprisingly robust.
Indeed, the only chink in its feeling of reliability is the steering, which is flaky and unpredictable. It feels more like puppetry than mechanics, the column connected to the wheels with string; the driver calls the shots eventually, but not very smoothly. Now you’re thinking, “Who would drive a car like this?” whereas, if you were in it, you’d be saying, “It’s amazing how often it feels like a regular car, when it’s closer to the price of a prestige bicycle.”
Inside, it’s a bit more British Airways. The materials don’t feel irksomely synthetic, the displays look pretty classy, and if you can’t quite believe that a car could exist without a USB or digital radio, ask yourself what’s wrong with singing the in-car entertainment yourself, like they did in the old days. Its deficiencies would irk you only if you met it as a hire car, and the hire firm was making the savings, stiffing you with the inconvenience. Actually, that’s probably where you will meet it. But if you buy one, you’ll know exactly why.
Vauxhall Viva SE 1.0: in numbers
Price £8,540
Top speed 106mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 13.1 seconds
Combined fuel consumption 62.8mpg
CO2 emissions 104g/km
Eco rating 8/10
Cool rating 5/10
