I can seriously see the point of the Skoda Fabia. I can’t stand the convention that, as soon as you have a family, you have to start driving some lumbering bison of a car, destined to stick out in car parks and squeeze down urban roads. I would much rather drive something that looked like a hot hatch and just happened to have a bunch of people and animals in the back.
OK, the Fabia does not look like a hot hatch. It doesn’t look hot. It looks like your existing girlfriend. No, just kidding! That kind of sexist objectification has no place in car reviewing. It looks dependable and friendly, but not particularly invigorating. I’m not sure that it would wow the younger audience, but then I always think the young car buyer who has money is a figment of the industry’s imagination.
The interior styling feels a bit hire car: it’s pretty anonymous, and the cabin is comfortable but not especially inviting, and there are no luxurious touches. The most impressive thing is that it’s small, but doesn’t feel small. Most of the space has been saved from the boot, which nevertheless remains large enough for normal boot activity, until you try to add a proper-sized dog. I think it’s a no-pets car.
Apart from daintiness, the main thing to recommend it is the economy. The 1.2l petrol engine (there’s a one-litre model, and a diesel) delivers 60.1mpg on the combined cycle, which is impressive. It is not what you’d call nippy. Third gear really runs out of puff, and second is very short; I was constantly surprised by how much changing down I’d have to do mid-manoeuvre. This makes it not huge fun to drive, although the handling is fine and on a motorway it tootles along with something like enthusiasm. It helps that it’s quiet: the external noise is minimal and nothing rattles. It can be bumpy on rough surfaces, but it never said it was a tank.
I can’t vouch personally for its safety features, having never even skimmed another vehicle in it, but it scored five stars in the Euro NCAP safety ratings last year, most likely down to the six airbags and the Isofix child seat fittings.
Look, it didn’t set my world on fire. It probably thinks setting things on fire is irresponsible. If it were a person, it would eat sensibly, go to the gym a lot (or maybe powerwalk), probably not do triathlons. You’d want to live next door to someone like this – her hedges would be neat and she would recycle. But would you want to be her?
Skoda Fabia: in numbers
Price£13,390
Top speed 113mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 10.9 seconds
Combined fuel consumption 60.1 mpg
CO2 emissions 107g/km
Eco rating 8/10
Cool rating 5/10
