It’s hot, it’s cheap and it’s a hatch: that’s what people love about the Seat Ibiza. That’s why, once you’re in one, you suddenly notice that everybody else is too. That’s why people overlook the floaty and unresponsive steering, and the crummy, hire-car interior. I was glad of the greyscale, plasticky innards, the wipe-clean characterlessness, but that’s because most of my journeys were with my mum, who had a nosebleed.
There were a few vexing touches to the interior: the oddment stowage between the seats is placed quite high, so you can’t get your spare arm comfortable, and the parking brake feels a bit tinny, to name two. But the fabric seats are plush-ish, and the look of the dash is intuitive and unintimidating. It is unusually simple to figure out; you feel like it’s your own immediately. I have a family member – let’s call her my sister – who finds it terrifying when a driver doesn’t know how to turn windscreen wipers on. She takes this to be roughly in the region of not knowing where the brakes are. I had no trouble with her at all in this vehicle, which is more than I can say for next week.
Steering aside, the general sense is of a poky, quite tightly controlled little car. It has a nice grip and, in the 1.2-litre five-speed manual, a scrappy, battle-ready demeanour on the motorway. It’s agile in town, and the boot is larger than it looks. The satnav is slow enough to mess with your day and your mood. Between you and me, I think there’s something up with the entire Seat operating system: they’re always slow. There’s no parking alarm, which puts it behind the modern curve, unless you think those things are more noise than they’re worth and it’s better, when parking, to use the evidence of your own five senses.
The prominence given to the boot-mounted sub-woofer in all the literature should give you a clue as to what the Ibiza-fancier wants: a car that sounds like a club. Hence the tinted windows and the sleek, handsome nose. If you drove down the road sounding like Pacha in a Fiat, people would laugh at you.
The engine noise is pretty low, though not when it’s windy; it has a top speed of 114mph, though I think you notice its capabilities most in the low gears, which it zips through like a wildcat. You could get a more solid motor, one that felt more grown-up, and you could get one with more finish, though not for this price. This is like the nursery car for speed and noise freaks. I hope it’s obvious that I mean that as a compliment.
Seat Ibiza 1.2 TSI 90PS Connect: in numbers
Price £15,490
Top speed 114mph
Acceleration 0-62mph in 10.7 seconds
Combined fuel consumption 57.6mpg
CO2 emissions 116g/km
Eco rating 8/10
Cool rating 7/10
