It’s one of the friendlier heckles I’ve received while cycling in central Manchester. “Get back to the Netherlands, you!” yelled a bloke on Deansgate. It was 5pm on a Saturday, shortly after the full-time whistle had blown at one or other of the city’s football grounds. Whether this chap was red or blue, I couldn’t say. But he was certainly affronted to be ding-a-linged out of the way as I used my bell to part the drunken hordes like a two-wheeled Moses.
You can’t go incognito on the Pendleton Somerby. With its powder-blue frame and gleaming silver handlebars, it’s a braggart of a bike. Women coo at it, unless they cycle a lot, in which case they tut at its rubbish components – quill stem, bottom-of-the-range Shimano gearing, no-make V-brakes, alloy frame. I’d only ridden it twice when a bolt fell off from underneath the saddle and rolled down a drain. What a multiple world and Olympic champion is doing putting her name to such ill-made tat, I don’t know. It’s curious that a woman who used to ride faster than anyone on the planet endorses a lumbering donkey.
What my heckler had failed to notice in his ale haze is that the Dutch would have no truck with a bicycle such as this. Their bikes are designed to be indestructible, ridden over Amsterdam’s cobbles after an all-night coffee shop session in mid-winter: integrated lights, hub gears, sturdy frames that can cope with an impromptu dip in a canal. The best I’ve tried was the Batavus Lento, which I loved with what some considered an unsavoury passion.
The same cannot be said of the Somerby. Rather than having gears hidden away from the rain inside the wheel hub, it has a cheapo derailleur operated by a twist-shift system on the handlebars. There’s a chain guard to protect ankles from the oily mech, and mudguards, but no kickstand or dynamo lighting system. Plus the saddle is too wide – a Brooks knock-off in fake leather. It’s a common misconception that fat saddle = comfy ride. But too wide and it’ll chafe your thighs like sandpaper. I didn’t like the rough phoney leather on the handlebar grips, either, and seven gears were never enough on the flat, forcing my legs to windmill as if on fast-forward.
Yes, at £279.99 it’s a good price, one that may attract women who ordinarily wouldn’t be seen dead on a bike. But if it starts falling to bits after a few rides, they’ll be back in their cars before long and the Somerby will be rusting in the shed.
Pendleton Somerby Hybrid
Price £279.99
Weight 15.1kg
Frame Alloy
Brakes V-brake
Gears 7
Wheel size 700c
Style Substance ratio (5:1)
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