Well finally I found a way to stop people banging on about Brexit #FML? I’m like God babes, I wish we opened a shop in New York every week, nobody said the words Merkel or Boris or Govey for two entire days & we could not sell enough “The Cat’s Whiskers” notebooks, New Yorkers have this totes AMAZE sense of humour we will totally have to expand our witty sayings workshop? Dave’s like genius babes, what did they think of my all-out assault on poverty? I’m like, tbh they were more interested in the cocktails? He’s like, what about my legacy, I’m like, I told you, we did Gin Fizz, omigod did I tell you the doormen were in BESPOKE HARDY AMIES, Melanie Griffith came, people were literally swooning, you have to see the press “the crammed party drew a varied list of tastemakers and celebrities”, non-swank that is MY actual English-style swaray, he’s like, but what about ME? I’m like, no offence but I am not sure New York tastemakers know who you even ARE?
Dave’s like, so you told them, right, I can count on Melanie Griffith for stay? I’m like tbh, sovereigntywise, when you are introducing a highly regarded English heritage brand with a storied past to discerning US millennials who are all about authenticity, the whole Euroey migrationey thing could, like, be a real downer – you know, Project Fear? Dave’s like, right, I’m like, so basically think the opposite, as in Churchill, the Queen, the tastemakers went MAD for our English bulldog #chic. Dave’s like, promise me nobody knows about this. I’m like *proud voice* well the Mail did this adorbs picture of me & Emily Mortimer, God Emily is divine, btw is “Vote Labour” a witty saying, tbh I am not sure, he’s like, Oh Christ, not the daughter of friend Rumpole #famouspinko? I’m like, God, weirdness, that is EXACTLY what Sarah put in her text *puts on Govey voice* “Hi Sam I know EM is not your new bff lol but Sam if u need US brand ambassador Michael is like maybe do not trust a hereditary champagne socialist #justsaying PS Sam, I will defo not give this to Dacre til I hear from u, luv u lots S xoxoxo”.
