Olympic champion Tessa Sanderson and her husband, fellow Olympian Densign White, are the very proud parents of seven-year-old twins: Cassius and Ruby Mae.
“Watching our children growing up into loving and caring little people is fantastic. They are our world,” she says. “I am so happy.”
Sanderson had previously undergone three rounds of unsuccessful IVF treatment, so when she and White married, they started the process that led to them being approved as adopters.
The couple began as foster parents and that was how the twins came to live with them. There was a lot of uncertainty about the babies’ health: they had been born premature to parents with drug issues, and there were many concerns about their future. But Sanderson and White were confident they could cope. “It would be hard, but we could do it,” she says.
Now, the twins are healthy and happy. “It’s not about luck, it’s about nurturing. We are not perfect parents, but we are committed to helping our children recover from their early experiences,” she continues.
Sanderson is keen that more black, Asian or minority ethnic (BAME) adopters come forward: “So many kids need to be adopted and a lot are black kids,” she says. “Many have come from difficult backgrounds; we have to nurture them. But it is a very fulfilling, heartfelt thing to do.”
During the 1990s and 2000s, adoptees were matched as closely as possible with adopters of their own ethnic heritage. But that meant that many children waited too long for the “right” match or were never adopted, as there were no suitable adopters. The guidelines on this changed in 2011.
Even so, research from 2018 showed that, in England, almost a third of children waiting to be adopted were BAME – far more than the 2011 census figure of about 14% of the population. There are various reasons why this could be, and a range of ways to encourage adopters to bridge the gap.
Satwinder Sandhu, chief executive of IAC – The Centre for Adoption, has worked in adoption for 24 years, specialising in work with BAME families for a lot of that time. He was also chair of the panel for the London Black Families project, and advisory committee member on BAME perspectives in adoption and fostering work.
“We needed to look at why black adopters were not coming forward, what could be done to engage with those communities. Why were so many black boys in care? Why were they waiting the longest to be adopted? It was about myth-busting,” he says.
One of the projects Sandhu was involved in found that, because of the racism and prejudice that many potential adopters and their communities had experienced, BAME applicants wanted adoption services to recognise their cultural and personal needs and while this has happened, the need for more families continues.
According to Sandhu: “The process [of preparing and assessing people for adoption] has often been described as intrusive. But we need to drop that language. It is supportive and developmental. I hope that anxiety can be allayed.”
He asks that prospective adopters look at the situation from a different angle.
“If you had a birth child who couldn’t live with you, you would want to make sure [their adopters] were checked out. We need to ask: can this family take care of this child?”
However, “there are still a large number BAME children in the care system,” he says. “There are definitely enough people to care for them if they come forward.”
Adopters for black boys, children of mixed ethnicity and sibling groups are particularly needed. Ravi and his partner live in the north of England and are now adoptive parents of three siblings. The couple first adopted two brothers who were aged five and two in 2017. Then, a year later, the boys’ birth sister came to join the family. She had been removed from their birth parents at birth. The children are of white British and black Caribbean heritage. Ravi is Fijian-Indian, and grew up in Australia. These differences are something that they celebrate.
“We are a multi-faith household,” explains Ravi. His heritage is Hindu, and the family celebrates both Diwali and Christmas. “It is important that we celebrate the diversity in our family. [The children’s] background is an important part of who they are.”
The “love book”, which has photographs of their birth parents, and their foster parents, is there to help explain their past, and there are many books about the Caribbean on the shelves.
“We are lucky that adoption is celebrated now, that it isn’t taboo,” says Ravi. “Adoption is something to be proud of. For instance, our younger son and daughter have brown eyes like daddy, our older son has blue eyes just like dad. How amazing is that?
“We would definitely encourage people to go to information sessions and find out more,” Ravi continues. “There are so many kids just wanting families and waiting for their forever home. There are challenges, but the good bits outweigh the bad by so much more.”
If you are interested in finding out more about adoption, contact First4Adoption on 0300 222 0022 or visit first4adoption.org.uk/youcanadopt
