For some time now, Lost in Showbiz has been contemplating investing in a pair of tongs, that it might toss you the more repulsive attempts at celebrity journalism without having to touch them.
This week's OK! has finally forced the purchase.
Two coverlines from the enchanting current issue are offered to you without comment, other than to speculate that right now, a tenth circle of hell is being prepared for serially cretinous editor Lisa Byrne.
"WORLD EXCLUSIVE. JORDAN & PETER: 'WE'D NEVER LEAVE OUR KIDS ON THEIR OWN."
"KERRY EXCLUSIVE: 'I WOULDN'T HAVE ACTED LIKE THE McCANNS."
Well done, Lisa! But settle an argument for us: do people still still walk on the same side of the street as you?