Gimme a break, this half of LiS has been at the coalface of fashion shows for the past two weeks so not only has blogging from this end been decidedly minimal, but this one comes, um, 24 hours late. Still, immediacy is such an overrated virtue on this newfangled cyberweb thiungummyjiggy, doncha think?
Anyway, let's talk about OJ, shall we?
Hot damn, this man suffers! Why won't these nasty police just leave him alone? After all, as the NY Times said yesterday, for the past few years he has lived "contentedly and, but for a few exceptions, quietly... tucking into a meal, receiving a lapdance or watching his children play sports." LiS likes to think he did all three simultaneously - well, the man is a renaissance gem, tricking out a Barrymore-esque film career in the likes of Naked Gun 33 1/3 but still pulling in the occasional football signing session. It is the little cavil - "but for a few exceptions" - that really snags the attention, don't it? Presumably him screaming at the man he claims stole his memorabilia, "I'm going to fuck you, fucker!", as released on tmz.com this week, was one of those times. And maybe writing the Pulitzer Prize winning "novel", If I Did It.
The real question is, though, what will OJ do about his impending court case now that his guardian angel, Johnnie Cochran, is, sadly, no more? At Cochran's funeral P Diddy, who was defended by Cochran, claimed that the lawyer "saved his life." But it was Diddy that allegedly sapped the last of Cochran's energy. After getting the dimiutive, um, we're not actually sure what he does, off on charges of stolen weapons and bribery, Cochran announced he just could not take any more celebrity criminal cases, thereby leaving R Kelly distressingly stranded with no one to argue that his decision to urinate on a 14 year old girl during sex was actually her fault, and now, arguably, OJ (brain tumour schmain schmumour - Cochran was clearly poisoned by continual exposure to the toxic fumes of Diddy's Unforgivable cologne,)
All of which leads us to the inexorable conclusion that, if we were Diddy, we wouldn't be walking down any dark alleyways these days. And OJ, it's not too late to give back to the community, yeah?
