Wow, Britain, your childhood heroes really don’t age well, do they? As far as this immigrant can make out, you all spent the 1970s and 80s cheering on paedophiles, rapists and tax-avoiders. And then there’s Morrissey. When I moved here in 1990, to speak badly of Morrissey was tantamount to spitting on someone’s soul. And yet, here we are today, gazing on the national emo teenage dream who has grown up to become the comments section of a libertarian blog. This week Morrissey has given an interview in Australia, which starts off relatively sensibly until he starts sharing his thoughts on British politics and the media, when it’s all, hoo baby: “Liberal educators such as George Galloway and Nigel Farage,” he begins, promisingly, “they are loathed by the BBC because both men respect equal freedom for all people, and they are not remotely intimidated by the BBC.”
How are you feeling now, all you overly sensitive British teenagers of the 80s? Holding tight on to your poster of Robert Smith, I’d reckon. Then there’s Sadiq Khan, the mayor of London, whose appeal Morrissey sums up as, “He eats halal-butchered beings, and talks so quickly that people can’t understand him – and that suits the British media perfectly.” Ahh, if only we couldn’t understand Morrissey when he spoke, amirite? Two comments about Morrissey’s take on the mayor: 1. Sadiq Khan talks quickly? What? 2. It’s the emphatic inclusion of “halal” that adds a spicy hint of racism to Morrissey’s animal rights campaigning, doesn’t it?
I surely speak for the country when I say how much we are all looking forward to Morrissey’s next career incarnation, as the celebrity face of Ukip. Heaven knows we’re – ahh, you guys know the rest.
