Even though I haven’t played darts for decades, Oche grabbed my attention, because it promised an insight into the new era of so-called gastro-gaming. An oche, in case you don’t know, is the line behind which you have to stand when throwing darts, and this new, rather chic, central London venue with about 30 electronic dartboards also has oysters, ceviche and sliders on the menu. The decor is heavy on the pinks and peaches, and features a rhapsody of fake succulents and neon “Live Laugh Love”-style signs, so it’s a bit like a wealthy teenager’s Instagram content studio. Oche may well be a darts bar, but while you’re chucking arrows, Valrhona chocolate desserts are being delivered from the open kitchen under cloches and billowing smoke. Meanwhile, on the screen above the dartboard, your victories, or embarrassments, are broadcast for all to see. Darts purists will sneer to find that Oche offers one game that counts down from 201, and three others with a fantasy vibe featuring swords, shields and axemen.
The term gastro-gaming, which features large on Oche’s PR material, intrigues me, because many of its investors clearly sense that this is the future. Yes, several bars focusing on darts, ball pits and crazy golf have opened in recent years, but Oche is much sleeker and, well, grown-up. There’s no attempt at a pub darts vibe, and I’d hazard that no one playing on the Saturday we went would get the significance of Jim Bowen’s Bullseye or staying “out of the black and into the red, nothing in this game for two in a bed”. The gastro-gaming landscape is for a demographic who missed out on sticky-floored pubs , and who want a venue with an activity where they can eat Korean-inspired bao buns alongside their pornstar martinis.
Frankly, just playing darts at Oche isn’t cheap – off-peak in the afternoon, it cost the two of us £16 for 85 minutes (at peak times it’s £12 a head) – but what Oche is really pushing is its food. And that is where the wheels really begin to fall off. The sharing platters feature tiny, finger-food portions of feta croquettes, spicy tuna in a minuscule cone and lumps of low-quality, blue-veined cheese shoved on a plate with a ramekin of brined artichokes. Five plates come in at £19.90, but we went for the eight-plate “chef’s menu” for £29.90 a head and completely flummoxed them by asking to swap out the pork bao because Charles doesn’t eat pig. By this time, we’d spent £76 without drinks and had sussed that Oche’s state-of-the-art darts software was prone to adding things up wrong, meaning we had to override the computer several times a game. The staff were well aware of this, but seemed to regard computer errors as business as usual.
My biggest error, meanwhile, was not ordering a pizza. Oche offers seven “gourmet” pizzas, with margarita with buffalo mozzarella at £12.90 and four cheeses at £15.90 but, silly me, I was set on the full gastro-gaming experience. First came an oyster each, dotted with rose petals, wasabi, yuzu and green onion oil. It was weirdly good and the first time I’ve ever knocked back an oyster while trying to hit a treble 20. This was followed by hummus with dry flatbread, which had the unmistakable feel of Sainsbury’s Moroccan hummus zhuzhed up with a dash of extra oil. Next came some anaemic-looking nocellara olives, the cheese, a bowl of chutney and those drab crostini that scratch the back of your throat.
A tuna cornet with lime-flavoured goo was pretty enough and arrived ostentatiously in a bowl of salt and topped with salmon roe, but it was a mouthful at best. Next came some not especially fresh halibut ceviche on a corn tostada, and then beef and smoked bone marrow brioche sliders with chipotle mayo that were probably the best thing on the menu. The final course was a riff on a Mini Magnum, albeit served with dry ice.
Bang, it was all over. Despite the computer being wholly unreliable at adding up our scores, it was exceedingly prompt at knowing when our time slot was up and kicked us off mid-game.
My main feeling when we left was confusion: who on earth is Oche aimed at? The food promises to be a “thrilling” treat, but is instead a few fancy mouthfuls plus a few bits from a Marks & Spencer’s picky tea. The dart boards are unreliable, so you can merrily throw a treble 12 and it will score you nine points. And if it’s more aimed at the new breed of non-drinking, wholesome, young people, why are there no alcohol-free beers on the menu, and very little for vegans or vegetarians? Gastro-gaming sounds good on paper, but right now Oche is way off target.
Oche 105 Strand, London WC2, 020-4540 5603. Open all week, noon-1am (11.30pm Sun). Pizzas from £12.90, five-plate sharing menu £19.90, eight plates £28.90, all plus drinks and service.
